Urgent Warning! Play-Doh Causes Global Warming!

An important message from Dr. Hugh Pestis, Ph. D., professor of Minority Superhero Gender Studies at Fimbo State College:

Greetings! As everyone but a Biggit or a Hater knows, human activity causes Climbit Change. But what everyone does not know is that all human activity contributes to Climbit Change. Unfortunately, that includes playing with Play-Doh*.

Yes, even Play-Doh leaves a carbon footprint! Just rolling a little ball of it around in your hand is enough to strike some poor emu dead, halfway around the world from here.

As much as it pains me to say so, I have no alternative but to urgently warn each and every one of you to refrain from all activity of any kind! It’s the only way we can slow down galloping Global Warming before all the grass burns up and the all the water evaporates and everybody dies.

Trending: Will Oregon Voters Defund Abortions?

Ask any Scientist!

_________________

*Play-Doh: Play-Doh is a modeling compound used by young children for arts and crafts projects at home. Composed of flour, water, salt, boric acid, and mineral oil, the product was first manufactured in Cincinnati, Ohio, United States, as a wallpaper cleaner in the 1930s. The product was reworked and marketed to Cincinnati schools in the mid-1950s. Play-Doh was demonstrated at an educational convention in 1956 and prominent department stores opened retail accounts. Advertisements promoting Play-Doh on influential children’s television shows in 1957 furthered the product’s sales.

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.

Lee Duigon
Lee Duigon, a contributing editor with the Chalcedon Foundation, is a former newspaper reporter and editor, small businessman, teacher, and horror novelist. He has been married to his wife, Patricia, for 34 years. See his new fantasy/adventure novels, Bell Mountain and The Cellar Beneath the Cellar, available on www.amazon.com.

Join the conversation!

We have no tolerance for comments containing violence, racism, profanity, vulgarity, doxing, or discourteous behavior. Thank you for partnering with us to maintain fruitful conversation.