As part of some kind of administrative shell game, one of our great universities–Clemson U., in the not-as-red-as-you-thought state of South Carolina–has brought forth a survey demanding details of its respondents’ sex lives. Completion of the survey was mandatory for all students, faculty, and staff.
Update attached: Having been found out, Clemson has suspended this requirement.
Well, what was it worth? What kind of schmo tells nosy bureaucrats the truth about his sex life?
One question, for instance, asked, “How many times have you had sex (including oral) in the last 3 months?”
Trending: Why Your State Should NOT Legalize Weed
Here are some possible answers, none of which can be proved either true or false.
“Oh, gee–I wasn’t counting!”
“Roughly 20 times a day. That’s the price I pay for being a chick magnet.”
“More times than you, dude.”
Individuals committed to sexual purity might choose to lie, reckoning that if you tried to tell these humanists that you have not had sex outside of marriage, they will think there’s something subversive about you and maybe kick you out of college.
The answer you were not allowed to give was “None of your @#$%$ business, you perverted creep.”
There being absolutely no way to verify the information received, of what possible use was such a survey?
The modern university–where minds and morals go to die.
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.