As we anxiously await the opening of the nominating convention of the Party of Theft, Treason and Racial Identity Politics, let us count the reasons to support its presumptive nominee:
1. Vote for Hillary so newly enfranchised ex-felons will have a president they can relate to – especially those who did time for grand theft.
2. Vote for Hillary if you’d like to see how high the national debt can go in the next 4 to 8 years. Obama will have managed to almost double it to an estimated $20 trillion by the time his fiscal reign of terror ends. Hillary has something to build on.
3. Vote for Hillary if you think jobs are created by taxes, regulations and elimination of domestic energy production.
4. Vote for Hillary if you want Supreme Court nominees who think Saul Alinsky wrote the U.S. Constitution.
5. Vote for Hillary if you think the infiltration of America by Mexico’s criminal class is muy bueno.
6. Vote for Hillary if you think we need more people entering our country illegally who are impoverished, unskilled and have no interest in learning English or identifying with America.
7. Vote for Hillary if you’d like to increase the number of Syrian “refugees” – from the land of Sharia, jihad and the genocide of Christians – by 500% next year.
8. Vote for Hillary if you believe guns – big trucks, hatchets and pressure cookers – cause crime.
9. Vote for Hillary if you think air conditioners and refrigerators pose as great a threat to “life on this planet” as terrorism – in the words of her successor, Secretary of State John Forbes Kerry.
10. Vote for Hillary if you think Islam has nothing to do with terrorism. The fact that they’re all named Mohammed and sing Allah’s praises while slaughtering infidels is coincidental.
11. Vote for Hillary if you think terrorist incidents are sparked by obscure Internet videos.
12. Vote for Hillary if you believe Israel is the chief obstacle to peace in the Middle East – and a gang of homicidal thugs who celebrated the stabbing death of a 13-year-old Jewish girl last month are partners for peace.
13. Vote for Hillary if you think chaos in Libya, the creation of ISIS and a deal that lifts sanctions and bestows $150 billion on the chief state sponsor of terrorism are foreign policy triumphs.
14. Vote for Hillary if you think FDR’s response to the loss of life at Pearl Harbor and George W. Bush’s response to 9-11 should have been “What difference – at this point, what difference does it make?” as Hillary famously told a House Oversight Committee hearing investigating the causes of Benghazi.
15. Vote for Hillary if you think every woman charging rape, assault or sexual harassment deserves to be heard – except when the allegations involve her husband.
16. Vote for Hillary if you want to give Bill a chance to once again guide America’s youth. Instead of the Peace Corps, perhaps they’ll establish a Monica Corps.
17. Vote for Hillary if you think the investigation that eventually led to Bill’s admission of perjury was all a “vast right-wing conspiracy.”
18. Vote for Hillary if you want to make a woman who couldn’t get a security clearance or pass a polygraph test leader of the free world.
19. Vote for Hillary if your definition of an outsider is someone who spent 8 years in the White House as first lady and co-president, 8 years in the Senate and 4 years as Secretary of State.
20. Vote for Hillary if you think “Classified” and “Top Secret” are open to interpretation.
21. Vote for Hillary if you think tens of thousands of e-mails were deleted from her personal server – which she used for State Department business in violation of security protocols – because they were “private.”
22. Vote for Hillary if you want to continue contributing to the Clintons’ retirement fund.
23. Vote for Hillary if you want a president who exudes warmth and charm. When Bill was president, White House aides were ordered not to look at her when they passed her in a corridor, lest she be soiled by their lowly glances.
24. Vote for Hillary if you think we need more racial division in America.
25. Vote for Hillary if you think she’s “fighting for all of us” when she says: “White Americans need to do a better job of listening… We need to recognize our privilege and practice humility.”
26. Vote for Hillary if you think men who think they’re women (or are ordinary creeps) have a basic human right to use women’s toilets, locker rooms and showers – and denial of same is the equivalent of segregated lunch counters.
27. Vote for Hillary if you’d like to see Secretary of Defense Michael Moore, Secretary of State Oliver Stone, Secretary of Commerce Bernie Sanders and Attorney General Debbie Wasserman Schultz.
28. Vote for Hillary if you’d like the executive branch to look like the Clinton Foundation, and the White House Travel Office become Bill Clinton’s speaker’s bureau. (“No fee too large. No sponsor too sleazy.”)
29. Vote for Hillary if you think Botox is beautiful and are turned on by a Stepford Wives’ smile.
30. Vote for Hillary if you think arrogance, incompetence and ideology are a winning combination.
To paraphrase H.L. Mencken, voters supporting Hillary Rodham Clinton know what they want, and deserve to get it, good and hard.
First published at GrasstopsUSA.com
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.