The Really Annoying Twit Awards for 2018

As the end of the year fast approaches, it’s useful to reflect on the past turbulent 12 months in politics – the inane, the colossally stupid and the heinously annoying.

Hence, the 2018 Really Annoying Twit Awards for those who’ve distinguished themselves in the political theater of the absurd. Like Border Patrol agents trying to stop rampaging Hondurans, if we could only lob a few canisters of pepper spray their way, to make them just go away.

1. Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez – The selfie socialist and media wunderkind achieved the remarkable distinction of defeating an old-guard hack for the Democratic nomination in the heavily minority New York 14th congressional district that’s elected a Republican exactly four times in the past 100 years.

She’s on a mission – to make Nancy Pelosi seem sane by comparison. Ocasio-Cortez has compared “migrants” being denied entrance at the border to Jews fleeing the Holocaust, and (in terms of their historic significance) her election to the Moon Landing and the 1964 Civil Rights Act.

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Her head is about to explode.

Her commitment to socialism is even reflected in her smile, reminiscent as it is of Soviet-era dentistry.

2. Hillary – Tickets for performances of the Hill and Bill Show are selling like cheeseburgers at a vegan convention. For an April 12 “An Evening with the Clintons” in Philadelphia, tickets have been discounted from $208 to $85. (“How much would you pay for a boring and totally predictable performance of Hillary’s I’ll-Never-Say-Farewell Tour? Wait, don’t answer. You also get the self-sharpening Ginsu knives…”)

Hillary has an inner voice that regularly reminds her, “You haven’t done anything really obnoxious and creepy lately. It’s Margaret Hamilton Time!” At the Bush funeral, she snubbed Melania Trump by staring coldly ahead when the first lady tried to talk to her. What will she do next, tear the wings off butterflies?

Corrupt, clueless and bitchy – the former first lady is a triple threat.

3. Sen. Mazie Hirono (D, Hawaii) – During the Kavanaugh confirmation circus and tractor pull, Hawaii’s junior senator said men should just “shut up and stand up.”

In answer to the perennial question of why normal people can’t relate to the Democrats, Mazie claims it’s because there are too many big-brain types in her party. “We’re really good at shoving (shoveling?) out all the information that touch people(s)” heads but not their hearts.

If only Democrats could stop being so damned intellectual, and appeal to emotions, they’d have campaign events the size of Trump rallies. It’s not that Middle America thinks their ideas – racial justice, abolish ICE, Medicare for all, men should just shut-up – suck. It’s because they’re too intellectual. And the party’s 2016 nominee was too vivacious and charming.

4. Cryin Cory Booker – After Spartacus, who will Booker compare himself to next – Superman? Wonder Woman? Betty Boop?

At a January hearing, Booker harangued Homeland Security Secretary Kristjen Nielsen, telling her he cried “tears of rage,” when told of the president’s alleged description of uninvited guests coming from countries that resemble latrines. “When ignorance and bigotry is allied with power, it’s a dangerous force in our country,” the New Jersey senator wailed.

Booker has hit on the perfect way for Democrats to bridge the gender gap among men (10 points in most elections) – descend into womanish histrionics.

At the same hearing, the big cry baby informed Nielsen that “tens-of-millions of Americans are hurting right now because they’re worried about what happened in the White House” – except for those who lost loved ones to illegals from sh—hole countries, who clearly have warped priorities.

5. Barack Obama – The 44th president took credit for the Allied victory in World War II, the Salk vaccine and the Trump economy. “When you hear about how the economy’s doing, let’s just remember when this recovery started,” Obama tells audiences dumb enough to believe him.

Let’s see: It started with federal spending that doubled the National Debt in eight years. It started with the burden Obama Care placed on small businesses. It started with policies designed to eviscerate energy production. It started with a president whose last private-sector job was as a community organizer.

According to Obama, that’s what gave us a Dow up 33% since November 2016, median family income up 3% since Trump became president (after years of stagnation) and blue-collar jobs growing faster then at any time since the Reagan years.

“De plane, Boss, de plane.”

6. Jim Acosta – Hearing the self-righteous twerp bait the president is like having a leg amputated without anesthesia while being forced to listen to the collected speeches of Joe Biden.

The gentleman from CNN’s motto should be: “You’ll get the microphone back, when you pry my cold, dead fingers from it.”

Acosta’s impersonation of a reporter includes asking the president questions like, “Are you still beating migrant children that you’ve separated from their families at the border?”

One of his performances at a November news conference (where he accused Trump of fabricating the whole caravan thing to inflame racial tensions during the election and supposedly pushed away a White House intern who tried to liberate the microphone from him) had his press credentials temporarily revoked.

Acosta should run for the Democratic nomination in 2020. That way he could legitimately debate the president.

7. Chief Justice John Roberts – The G.W. Bush nominee who’s now one of the swing votes on the Supreme Court unloaded on the President.

Roberts angrily responded to Trump’s comment that a ruling against his asylum policy was handed down by an “Obama judge.” No such thing, Roberts retorted. We don’t have Obama judges or Trump judges or Clinton judges, just a dedicated group of demigods who put politics aside when they put on their black robes and consider each case on its merits.

The left pretends that judges are impartial arbiters instead of wily ideologues determined to reach preordained conclusions at any cost.

News flash: President Clinton did not nominate Ruth Bader Ginsburg (an ACLU lawyer) because he was looking for a justice who would be neutral on cultural issues. If judicial philosophy played no role in the process, presidents could simply place in nomination a name drawn from a hat of ABA-certified candidates.

Democratic presidents always nominate judicial activists. Those nominated by Republicans usually look good until they’re confirmed – at which point they become David Souter, Anthony Kennedy or John Roberts.

8. French President Emmanuel Macron – He was elected president by French voters (because the other parties united to keep the Front National from power), but early on decided he was there to represent Europe or the world.

Incensed by Trump’s withdrawal from a meaningless arms control treaty, Macron said Europe needs its own army to protect the continent from Russia, China and the US. Our response should have been: “Listen, pipsqueak, if we wanted to, we could have colonized Western Europe in 1945.” Presumably, the French, who are known for their military prowess, will be the backbone of this Euro force. Will the tanks only operate in reverse?

Macron tried to impose a bone-crushing fuel tax on the French to combat the myth of man-made global warming. His recent capitulation in the face of the yellow-vests riots, shows he can’t even sell his utopianism to the French, let alone the rest of Europe.

At the beginning of December, his approval rating was 26%. Macron is fueling the rise of the nationalism he decries. But, not to worry, Manny. While Paris is burning, Brussels beckons.

9. Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel – In the menagerie of big city mayors, Chicago Mayor Rahm Emanuel has managed to distinguish himself. As of December 9, there were 552 homicides in the Windy City (up from 414 in 2013, two years after Emanuel was first elected mayor). Marchers regularly call for his resignation.

But don’t think hizzoner has done nothing in the face of the rising tide of carnage. He’s fought the Trump administration in the courts to keep Chicago a sanctuary city, hence a haven for illegal-alien killers.

Now, in a parting shot, Emanuel (who’s wisely decided not to seek reelection), wants Chicago to solve its pending pension crisis with legalized marijuana and casino gambling. It’s reminiscent of the dystopian novel “Brave New World,” where the population is kept docile with drugs.

It’s surprising he didn’t suggest legalizing and taxing prostitution too. But then, why would a politician boost the competition?

10. Senator Kristen Gillibrand – Last week, New York’s junior senator tweeted, “The future is female.” As slogans go, that’s right up there with “Believe women” and “Sisterhood is powerful.”

This is an obeisance to the gender politics that dominate the Democratic Party. It’s also Cultural Marxism, which sees women and racial and sexual minorities as the new proletariat. Apparently, Gillibrand has decided Democrats haven’t done enough to alienate working class voters, once the party’s base.

Here are the Really Annoying Twit Awards for 2018.

Both individually and collectively, they make you miss Fritz Mondale and Hubert Horatio Humphrey.

Don Feder is a former Boston Herald writer who is now a political/communications consultant. He also maintains a Facebook page.

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The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.

Don Feder is a former Boston Herald writer who is now a political/communications consultant. He also maintains his own website,
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