In a move calculated to drive American college professors and other Democrats absolutely wild with jealousy, Thailand’s military junta has banned ‘rude opinions’ and virtually all known forms of political discussion, in the run-up to a referendum on a new constitution promoted by the junta.
“Why, why, why can’t we do this!” cried U.S. Attorney General Loretta Lynch.
“What unscientific wimps we are!” lamented Bill Nye The Science Guy. “We can’t even jail Climate Change deniers!”
It is rumored that Hillary Clinton has threatened to go on a hunger strike if a set of rules similar to Thailand’s is not immediately adopted by America.
Under Thailand’s new rules, you can’t campaign against the proposed constitution, you can’t campaign for it, you can’t use any language that could possibly be described as intimidating, aggressive, or impolite, you can’t organize a panel discussion to debate the issue, and you’d better watch what you post on the Internet. Violation of any of these rules could get you 10 years in jail.
Ms. Lynch had to be restrained from beating her head against the Justice Dept. wall.
Democrat primary candidate Sen. Bernie Sanders said, “Of course we can have those rules here in America! In fact, we already do! Just check out any college campus.”
“I counsel the America people to just be patient,” said President *Batteries Not Included. “We’re not there yet, where Thailand is, but we’re getting there–and we won’t stop until we do.”
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