Our president has once again this June issued a proclamation celebrating “pride” month. Here is his final published version.
However, I was able to obtain a first draft, and it is extremely forthright and transparent, a promise Obama made in 2008 but has rarely kept.
Here is Obama’s original, unedited version.
Presidential Proclamation – “Pride” Month 2016 (a parody)
Since our founding, America has advanced on an unending path toward becoming a more perfect Union. Unfortunately, my priorities are toward less perfection and more division, but I will keep up the pretense for the rest of my term, because I just like messing with people.
The fight for dignity and equality has been a little rough for people who engage in sodomy, as well as the gender defiant who want to have healthy body parts amputated while taxpayers pay for these elective, unnecessary surgeries. Nevertheless, tireless dedication by these advocates and allies strives to forge a more allegedly inclusive society, which is actually becoming tyrannical, bigoted, depraved and anti-Christian.
These advocates have spurred sweeping progress by changing hearts, minds and bathroom behavior, and by insisting that boys shower with girls, and demanding equal treatment through distortion and harassment while twisting our laws, corrupting our courts and practicing back-room politics. You would not believe the skeletons and dirt we get on so many people, and, like Hillary and Bill, my homosexual-activist buddies are not afraid to use them!
And there’s ample help from our major funders, like George Soros, who themselves love chaos, destruction and anarchy.
This month, we recognize all these relentless activists have done to create societal upheaval, and we recommit to gender-bending the arc of our nation toward our perverted version of justice.
Last year’s landmark but totally unconstitutional Supreme Court decision guaranteeing marriage distortion in all 50 states was a historic victory for homosexual Americans, which opens the door to the real goal: crushing the opposition. This masquerade of dignity for same-sex couples who believe anal sex is a valid basis of marriage now goes across state lines, whether the states like it or not.
For every American denied what we keep saying is a basic civil right, this monumental ruling instilled newfound hope – hope that we can wipe out these annoying Christian conservatives and their beliefs. After all, we are all freer when we are treated as equals even if our unnecessary, deviant sex acts are nothing like the consummation of authentic marriage. And equality and basic civil rights have nothing whatsoever to do with sodomy – “the behavior” – but I’ll keep winking and pretending it does!
“LGBT” individuals deserve to know their country stands beside them anyway. But we won’t stand behind those who leave this deviancy behind, because it makes our claims look really weak.
We oppose subjecting minors to the practice of conversion therapy, because it reveals the well-known fact that change is possible, and we HATE that! We’ll continue to insist on safe and supportive learning environments for all students – and by “safe” we mean truth-free and caution-free about sodomy and gender confusion. Students from conservative families? It’s fine to go ahead and bully, mock and harass them.
We remain committed to addressing health disparities in the homosexual and gender-defiant community, people at a particularly high risk for HIV because of anal sex, promiscuity, fisting, use of objects – well, you get the idea! Of course, they are all born to engage in these behaviors, even if that seems counterintuitive. Taxpayers just need to cough up the funds to clean up the results, which aren’t so great.
We have strengthened our National HIV/AIDS Strategy, and we may even begin to actually recommend abstaining from bizarre and harmful acts – but then again, maybe not. It wouldn’t go over well with the “LGBT” community, the folks who are really calling the shots at the CDC.
Despite extraordinary progress, homosexual Americans still face discrimination simply for being who they claim they were born to be. I just went ahead without any authority and signed an executive order in 2014 that prohibits discrimination against federal employees and contractors on the basis of sexual orientation or gender identity. Phooey on Congress! Maybe they will enact such legislation or maybe not, but I’ll just do what I want anyway, as will Hillary if she’s elected.
No one should live in fear of losing their job simply because they love sodomy more than their position, or come to work on Monday dressed as the opposite sex. Let’s get our priorities in line here! And our commitment does not stop at our borders. Forced acceptance of this agenda has long been a cornerstone of my twisted version of American diplomacy, and we have made defending and promoting immoral homosexual and gender-defiant behavior a cornerstone of our engagement across the globe, whether other nations like it or not.
In line with America’s commitment to the notion that all people should be treated fairly, champions of this cause at home and abroad are continuing to parrot the laughable notion that homosexual behavior is a human right, which falls apart when compared to real human rights abuses. But that’s our story, and we are sticking to it!
There remains much to do, but our nation has made great strides with the shallow propaganda line that “love is love” and that no person should be judged by anything but the content of his/her character, which puts sexually deviant people in a tough spot! Regardless, let’s wave flags of pride high, celebrating how far backward we are taking America as we force the country to approve, pay for and teach their children about barbaric, sexual sin.
NOW, THEREFORE, I, BARACK OBAMA, call upon the people of the United States to roll over for deviance and eliminate prejudice everywhere it exists, except for justified hatred of Christians, their moral values and the God they worship.
Sincerely, BARACK OBAMA, Activist-in Chief
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