It truly pains me to write this.
My hometown, where I’ve lived all my life, is being rapidly transformed into a leftid colony of high taxes and low character. We’ve got an Organized Sodomy flag flying on every other lawn, a frantic program of rapid urbanization, of tearing down everything that has any history, of paving over every square inch of green, of cramming the maximum number of people into the minimum amount of space. Our politicians can’t wait to turn it into a mini-“sanctuary city,” although first they have to turn it into a city. Meanwhile, idiots write letters to the local paper, which are published, lamenting the fact that some unenlightened people in this pwogwessive town still use those hateful and un-inclusive pronouns, “he” and “she.”
Several years ago our annual Christmas parade was replaced by a ‘Winter Festival.’ Hail, Baal. And this year the theme of our glorious Winter Festival will be ‘Strength Through Diversity.’ You could just heave.
Would it do any good to mention that all this leftist horse**** makes me feel… well, unsafe? Nah. A sanctuary city means sanctuary for everybody but Americans. I’ve lived here all my life, so I don’t count.
Maybe I should go down to that shop on Main Street–a lot of our stores are boarded up because the taxes drove out business–where they teach you how to contact your Animal Spirit Guide for good advice and handy household tips.
I don’t want no stinkin’ Winter Festival. I don’t like it when they call everyone who doesn’t agree with them Haters and Biggits and enemies of The People. I don’t like the way they always twist “diversity” around to mean strict uniformity of opinion, imposed by coercive force.
Where’s Elijah when you need him?
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.