Although it certainly wasn’t Oscar material, I still love the 1989 film “Erik the Viking,” starring, among others, Tim Robbins, Mickey Rooney, Eartha Kitt and John Cleese. It’s a campy British comedy-fantasy about a band of misfit Vikings on a quest to reach Valhalla.
In one scene, the motley mob finds its way to the island of Hy-Brasil, a happy, peaceful, sunlit land populated by white-robed, free-loving, uber-pacifist morons.
You know, liberals.
Through a series of immaterial events, the island begins to sink into the ocean. As it does, Erik and crew evacuate and re-board the ship while Hy-Brasil’s inhabitants blithely remain, singing out of tune and playing harps, horns and other instruments badly.
As the crest of the island dips beneath the sea, King Arnulf – a blundering buffoon played by Terry Jones of Monty Python fame – exclaims: “Everyone, stay calm. This is not happening.”
It’d be funny if it weren’t true, but America has become Hy-Brasil, Barack Obama King Arnulf and liberals of every stripe his white-robed, mind-numbed, sycophantic subjects. Our enemies, both foreign and domestic – some of whom have “The Honorable” before their names – are laughing themselves silly.
Indeed, “progressives” are a caricature of themselves, fully given over to pseudo-utopian, relativist ideals that remain ludicrous – hopelessly unattainable – by any objective standard.
Still, our patchouli-wearing, pervert-pride-prancing, “pay-for-my-abortion”-shrieking friends are anything if not determined. They’ll let neither reality nor the U.S. Constitution stop them. Nothing, it seems – especially not those mealy-mouthed puddin’ pops running the GOP – can keep this ship of fools from sinking a once great nation.
Problem is, they’re taking us all down with them.
How do you stop skyrocketing debt and deficits that even liberal economists admit, if left unchecked, spell America’s doom? You don’t. You print trillions more and spend it like game tokens at Chuck E. Cheese. The party must go on or the kiddos get cranky. Sugar Daddy Barack’s got hungry mouths to feed.
How do you stop evil nutjobs pumped full of psychotropic drugs from shooting-up “gun free zones”? Why, by leaving them heavily armed, of course. By unconstitutionally grabbing guns from the very law-abiding citizens positioned to tap two in the body and one in the head whenever these death-culture byproducts start killing.
Liberal logic: “Up is down, down is up, we’ll make it so and we won’t give up!”
In sum, you spend your way out of debt, tax your way to higher employment, fornicate your way disease-free, abort your way to non-violence and unilaterally disarm your way to national security.
Now, some of you may say, “But wait, Obama knows exactly what he’s doing. He’s no buffoon.”
I both agree and disagree. Yes, the “progressive” dogma that courses through his veins – a mind-altering hallucinogen that gives liberals the munchies for power – is, indeed, inherently sinister.
Still, he believes it with every ounce of his nicotine-hardened heart.
By deliberately deconstructing America’s constitutional republic – our free-market form of government – and replacing it with a Euro-socialist, moral relativist amalgam of his liking, this misguided anti-colonialist radical thinks – truly believes – that he’s doing the right thing.
Such are the ways of the well-meaning tyrant.
People sometimes ask me how it is that I manage to stay so optimistic – to maintain deep joy as we watch our nation’s foundations crumbling around us like the walls of Jericho. They wonder how it is that I’m able to pick up and carry on with a smile as America heads careening toward cliff’s edge.
It’s easy. First, I put my full faith and trust in the Sovereign Creator of the universe who is the same yesterday today and forevermore: Christ, God incarnate, who is always faithful to those who have faith in Him.
Then, I laugh at them; liberals, that is. I make fun of their dull-witted, self-defeating, abjectly wicked worldview. I follow God’s example. Of those who align themselves against His laws and His nature, Psalm 2:4 says, “He who sits in the heavens laughs. The Lord scoffs at them.”
How can you not scoff at the silly twaddle they’re hocking?
Ultimately, I’ve read the end of the book. I know what happens. The good guys win. That keeps me smiling no matter what goes down on the culture-war front. It keeps me snickering.
Still, once I stop laughing, I get about the business of trying, with every fiber of my being, to defeat them. Not reason with them, not compromise with them, not suck up to them and certainly not trust them.
Oh, I’ll love them. I must. I’m commanded to by the Lord I serve. I’ll pray for them, too. Do it all the time. But I’ll never, ever, under any circumstances, trust them.
You may be surprised to learn that, in various forms, I get dozens – sometimes hundreds – of pieces of hate mail each week. My recent favorite came from a delightful bloke with the email handle firstname.lastname@example.org. “Someday, someone may just choose to use their second amendment right (sic) to put a bullet in your worthless head. You are a disgusting waste of life you uneducated, non-human, uncivilized, evil, parasitic Nazi maggot. Shame on you.”
Right. Shame on me.
How do you reason with, compromise with, suck up to or trust that?
You don’t. You defeat it.
Abraham Lincoln, a man of deep faith, forecast nearly a century-and-a-half ago our current state of the union: “America will never be destroyed from the outside,” he said. “If we falter and lose our freedoms, it will be because we destroyed ourselves.”
President Obama sits atop the highest perch of a nation fast-sinking. “Everyone, stay calm. This is not happening,” he assures us.
But it is happening. We’re destroying ourselves from within. We’re going down, and the only way to stop it is to utterly defeat those responsible.
In the meantime, they sure are fun to laugh at.
(First published Jan. 2013)
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.