By Gisele Roy and Christopher Doyle
My truth can say that stealing my neighbor’s tools is not wrong because I need the tools and my neighbor can afford to get a new set of tools. I have rationalized and even legitimized my stealing as good because it works for me. I can manipulate the truth to be subjective. But let’s look at another scenario objectively.
Today, I could get in a plane, fly to any spot on Earth, and parachute down in the midst of any tribe on the planet. If I were to run to the nearest person and take something out of his hands and call it mine, it would objectively be called stealing. Anyone on the planet would say, in his language, that I stole.
“My truth” can say that leaving work early without docking my pay is okay as long as the boss doesn’t find out. My truth can say that my computer is really a toaster. But no matter how much I believe it is a toaster, and even if though I really believe it, it is still a computer. Believing it does not make it so. Truth is objective.
So let’s look at what Gay activists define as truths (here named ‘myths’) and see what the objective realities are.
Myth #1: People are born gay.
There is very little credible scientific evidence that people are born with a “gay gene” or even a “pre-disposition” to become homosexually attracted.
Objectively, scientists have confirmed that identical twins [who share the same DNA] are not always both heterosexual, nor are they both homosexual. If there were a gene to determine sexual orientation, or “gay gene,” this would occur. In fact, Meta analysis of studies examining identical twins yield percentages (of identical twins being both gay) as being less than 12%. This means that about 88% of the time, they are not both gay! Therefore, there must be a variety of post-natal factors that contribute to homosexual feelings.
Objectively, researchers have concluded that sex awareness does not even develop until the age of 18 months. Between the ages of 18 months to 36 months, a child becomes aware of differences in their sex and identifies more with the same or opposite sex.
Objectively, among other factors, theorists believe that sex confusion may first result (subconsciously) when a child’s same-sex parent is absent, [emotionally and/or physically], or when the same-sex parent and/or peers cause(s) the child to experience negative emotional reactions/trauma when they are together.
These factors, among others, may contribute to the later development of same-sex attractions. But if you don’t believe me, read Dr. Neil Whitehead’s My Genes Made Me Do It! A Scientific Look at Sexual Orientation.
Myth #2: The only definition for a change in same-sex attraction is to never be attracted to the same sex again.
Objectively, using this definition does not make sense. Anyone who uses his brain makes memory paths, and sooner or later will find him/herself remembering. Using the “…never attracted to the same sex again” definition of “change” would really alter the definition of “change” in many instances. For example:
“Gee, I haven’t had a cigarette for 10 years, but I still think about it and I even crave one every once in a while. But now that this definition says I can’t ever crave a cigarette to be cured, I must still be a smoker. According to this definition, I’ll never be a non-smoker, even if I live to be 100 and never have another puff.”
“Gee, I haven’t had a drop of liquor in over 30 years, but today, I thought about having a tall one. So I guess I’m not really sober. As long as I think I might like a drink, I’ll always be a hopeless drunk.”
“Gee…. Even though I’ve realized that I was treated like a girl from day one, was constantly raped by the men next door, and was taunted by my same-sex peers, and I’ve come to understand that I had physical and emotional childhood wounds… and even though I have worked hard to deal with them and have moved on with therapy…. and even though I am now really turned on by my wife…. and am happily married with four children…. if I ever have a passing thought about a man looking good, I’m still obviously gay and have not changed.”
Using such a narrow definition of change, as many gay activists do, would result in many individuals who struggle with a variety of issues to admit they have not indeed changed. This would include any type of addiction, where relapse throughout the recovery process is a reality. However, when one takes into account that change means reducing, decreasing, or diminishing the frequency and intensity of same-sex attractions, and increasing opposite-sex attractions (in some cases, this change might be even more dramatic since there may have been none before therapy) then tens of thousands have changed.
Myth #3: Any same-sex attracted person who says he or she has “changed” is in denial, is lying, and is sure to come back to his gay lifestyle.
Let’s look at the objective evidence. Testimonies from ex-gays prove otherwise. Check out a few from the following websites:
- Voice of Change
- LDS/Mormon Voices of Hope
- Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays Stories of Change
- Dennis Jernigan’s Story of Change
- Prodigal Magazine
- Homosexual Anonymous Testimonies of Change
- The Heart of the Father Ministries
- International Healing Foundation: Real Stories of Healing
- JONAH Stories of Change
- The Third Way: Homosexuality and the Catholic Church
Myth #4: Not making LGBT support, counseling, and books available is tantamount to discrimination, bias and censorship. Yet, not making ex-gay support, ex-gay counseling, and ex-gay books available are morally responsible acts. We must not allow our children to be exposed to “hurtful” stories of change.
In their efforts to “protect” youth, gay activists routinely censor literature that presents an alternative to the “born that way” theory. While they promote equality for LGBT individuals, they deny equality to anyone with an opposing viewpoint. The old Orwellian theme: “All animals are equal except some animals are more equal than others” is their modus operandi.
Objective Truth: Censorship is censorship. No matter how much an individual or group might dislike an opposing viewpoint does not give that individual or group the rights to censor. Sexual Orientation Change Effort (SOCE) therapy has helped thousands of individuals to overcome, reduce, and/or diminish their unwanted same-sex attractions. For more information, see: Successful Outcomes of SOCE Therapy by Dr. James Phelan.
Myth #5: If you speak in favor of SOCE therapy or speak against homosexual behavior, you are attacking a protected minority group (LGBT) and should be sued, because after all, science has determined homosexuality is hard-wired, and therefore, offering or supporting SOCE therapy to help those with unwanted SSA change is impossible and therefore criminal.
The idea that my attacking an issue is attacking a minority group is propaganda at its best. George Orwell said: “Political language . . . is designed to make lies sound truthful and murder respectable, and to give an appearance of solidity to pure wind.”
Objective Truth: Discussing an issue such as sexuality and presenting logical and reasonable viewpoints is not attacking a person (argumentum ad hominem). For example, many people are atheists. If I give reasons why I believe in God, does this attack atheists personally? Should they sue me or put me in jail? No, they should say what they think, and I will defend their right to say it. I certainly won’t sue them for their views.
But that is exactly what the Southern Poverty Law Center (SPLC) is doing to a small non-profit organization, Jews Offering New Alternatives to Healing (JONAH). Claiming that their coaching and therapeutic services are tantamount to Consumer Fraud, the SPLC recruited several former unsuccessful clients of JONAH and brainwashed them to believe they had been “harmed” by their therapy because they did not experience the change they were supposedly promised. For more information, visit the Freedom of Conscience Defense Fund online.
Freedom of speech and conscience is guaranteed by the Constitution and allows us to put all the cards on the table. We are all entitled to believe what we want, and debate those ideas in the free marketplace of ideas. May the truth win out!
Myth #6: Since gays can marry in many states and have equal status under the law, their families are equivalent to heterosexual families.
Objective, biological truth: Only a man and a woman can co-create another human being and can give a child the benefit of having a male father and a female mother. Gay marriage does not provide all of the advantages to children as heterosexual households. While gay activists will point to a recent Australian study that supposedly shows that children of homosexual couples fare the same, or actually better, than those of straight couples, this study was actually based on a convenience sample, not a random sample, such as that produced by Mark Regnerus of the University of Texas, whose study found that among every outcome studied, children of homosexual parents were worse off than children of heterosexual parents. For more information, click here.
Myth #7: It’s not OK to bully gays; but it’s OK to bully, slander and ridicule ex-gays.
Objective Truth: It’s not OK to bully, slander, or ridicule anyone. Because gays are very vocal and quite prominent and over-represented in the media, their voices are very loud and strong. This results in gay media personalities often promoting gay causes, such as anti-bullying, tolerance, and outright promotion of LGBT causes in schools and in the workplace. For example, a recent survey at Chase Bank asked employees to check a box (yes or no) if they were an “ally” of the LGBT community. Who knows what may happen to employees if they don’t check the box. Perhaps they’ll end up like recently fired former Mozella Corporation CEO Brendan Eich, who donated $1,000 to California’s Proposition 8 law in 2008, only to be pressured to resign years later because of his unpopular political views. For more information, click here.
At the same time, it is unthinkable for schools to promote tolerance for ex-gays or promote materials that present many sides of the sexual orientation issue. For example, two school districts in Maryland have been openly hostile to ex-gay views. Montgomery County denied flyers from Parents and Friends of Ex-Gays and Gays (PFOX) to be distributed to students under their non-profit distribution program, yet allowed gay-affirming organizations to promote LGBT causes in their district. Similarly, officials at Prince George’s County in Maryland removed the Acception: Bullying Prevention Film and Health Curriculum after being pressured from gay activsts because it contained information that supported students with unwanted same-sex attraction who desired to change their sexual orientation.
Myth #8: The Bible Approves of Homosexuality.
Objective Truth: Having same-sex attraction is not a sin. According to the Bible, acting on it is. You can’t be lukewarm about this. Jesus said that He would spit you out of His mouth. Let’s look at the bible.
Corinthians 6:9-11 says: “Can you not realize that the unholy will not fall heir to the kingdom of God? Do not deceive yourselves: no fornicators, idolaters, or adulterers, no sodomites, thieves, misers, or drunkards, no slanderers or robbers will inherits God’s kingdom. At such were some of you; but you have been washed, consecrated, justified in the name of our Lord Jesus Christ and in the spirit of our God.” (NAB)
While many gay activists have tried to justify homosexual behavior by reinterpreting scripture, Biblical scholars have rejected such theories. For more information, read: “Welcoming But Not Affirming: An Evangelical Response to Homosexuality” by Stanley Grenz.
Myth #9: Anyone who disagrees with the LGBT philosophies is a bigot or homophobe.
Objective Truth: Name-calling is another propaganda technique. Anyone who disagrees with the LGBT philosophies is an individual with different views, but this does not make their views hate speech. However, the SPLC continues to label organizations that oppose homosexual behavior, including Family Resource Council, American Family Association, and Liberty Counsel, as “Hate Groups” on their website. Until recently, the FBI used the SPLC as a resource to identity legitimate hate groups, but has now dropped the group from its resources.
Myth #10: You Can’t “Pray Away the Gay.”
Objective Truth: Agreed! You can’t pray away the gay. You have no power. You can pray that God shows you the meaning of your same-sex attractions so you can resolve the issues that lead to their development. If God desires you to change, it can happen! There is hope. John 10:10 says: “I came that they might have life and have it to the full.” You also can be led by the Spirit to find grace, peace, chastity, and healing. God alone changes hearts. May His will be done!
Gisele Roy is a parent of a son in his twenties who has unwanted SSA and is a member of the Advisory Board of Voice of the Voiceless. Christopher Doyle is a Licensed Clinical Professional Counselor and President of Voice of the Voiceless. For more information, visit: www.VoiceoftheVoiceless.info
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.