In the movie “Office Christmas Party,” a colleague says to the branch manager of a high-tech firm who talks a steady stream of nonsense, “Your brain is like a drunk baby.”
Which brings us to Nancy Pelosi.
On Thursday, Pelosi became the 54th Speaker of the U.S. House of Representatives. She started by losing several pages of her first speech, which may go down in history as a tragedy comparable to the destruction of the Great Library of Alexandria.
Representing a Congressional District in San Francisco (as far from the real America as you can get without falling off the map) and chosen by a party of hacks, grifters and sideshow attractions, Pelosi informed a fawning media that she was now the equal of the president of the United States. Recreational marijuana was legalized in California in 2016.
This time last year, the 30-year veteran of Congress was universally acknowledged to be a bizarre joke (a mix of welfare-state socialism and age-associated memory loss). Democrats of all stripes believed she’d be their heaviest burden in the upcoming election. Republicans prayed for her health.
Suddenly, the House flipped (as it did in Obama’s first mid-term election) and Nancy Pelosi became a combination of Sam Rayburn, Henry Clay and Pitt the Younger. Obama called her “one of the most effective legislative leaders in history,” praise indeed for his Gal Friday.
On Day 1, Pelosi’s House restored full funding to Planned Parenthood and passed a bill to reopen the federal government with nothing for a border wall. It took this action within days of the murder of a police officer by an illegal alien. Millions for abortion but not one cent for border security.
Nancy and company have big plans for the next two years, including some form of free tuition, Medicaid for all, repeal of the Trump tax cut, and beating the drums for deindustrialization in the name of fighting climate change. Venezuela here we come.
The past is often a guide to the future. Here are some glimpses into the razor-sharp intellect of Madam Speaker:
1. “It’s almost a false argument to say we have a spending problem.” Spending is never a problem; it’s the lifeblood of the Party of Plunder. There are always more pockets to pick. Whatever we’re taking from taxpayers, it’s never enough and raising taxes will never have an adverse effect on the economy or jobs. Bernie-nomics 101.
2. In pushing Obama’s 2009 spending bill, Nancy warned that every month the stimulus package didn’t pass, “500 million Americans lose their jobs.” The total U.S. population (including infants, children, residents of nursing homes and those in a coma) was then 300 million. Pelosi could give the Red Queen lessons in believing six impossible things before breakfast.
3. ObamaCare was comparable to the Declaration of Independence. (“We will be celebrating health independence… It captures the spirit of Independence.”) And the next Democrat jobs bill will be the Magna Carta and Universal Declaration of Human Rights rolled into one.
4. The bonuses many companies paid their employees after the Trump tax cut (averaging between $1,000 and $2,000) were “crumbs,” “insignificant,” and “pathetic.” So it must seem to a woman whose family is worth an estimated $43 million.
5. A border wall is a “sign of weakness.” Then so is the $681 billon we’re spending for national defense – also meant to deter foreign incursions.
6. A barrier on our southern border is “immoral.” In other words, it’s immoral to keep out killers, drugs, gang members, potential terrorists and permanent dependents. Open borders becomes a moral imperative.
7. Unemployment benefits create jobs. “It injects demand into the economy.” Then the more government spends the more jobs we’ll have. Here’s a time-honored Democrat strategy – Spend your way to prosperity. For the record, unemployment was higher after 6 years of the New Deal than it was when FDR took office.
8. In 2007, after the Trump tsunami, Miss Nancy responded to calls for her to step down as the Minority Leader by touting her credentials: “I’m a master legislator. I am a strategic, politically astute leader. My leadership is recognized by many around the country” especially at Pelosi family reunions. Real leaders don’t tell you how great they are; they show you. Pelosi can only succeed at getting bills passed with a zombie army at her back.
9. And her classic quote in arguing for the passage of ObamaCare: “We have to pass the bill to find out what’s in it.” This isn’t just absurd, it’s a paean to elitism. We are the anointed. If we tell you something is good, you should have blind faith in our judgment. Don’t read the fine print. Don’t read any print. Have absolute faith in our infallible judgment. Oh, and if you like your doctor, you can keep him.
Behind Pelosi’s walker marches a parade of mutants: Maxine Waters (“a riot is the voice of the unheard”) – Rashida Tlaib (we’re going to impeach that “mother—,” Trump) – Hank Johnson (Trump is Hitler and Jewish settlers in Israel are “like termites”), Alexandria Ocasio Cortez (who accuses Republicans of being corporate shills and just filed a bill for a 70% top tax rate) and Shelia Jackson Lee (the Tea Party is the Klan minus sheets). Too bad Alan Grayson, who retired in 2016, isn’t there to tell us the GOP health care plan is “If you get sick, die quickly. ”
Ma Pelosi is the leader of the gang.
I’m not saying that Nancy is a doctrinaire socialist. I don’t think she’s a die-hard anything, other than a doctrinaire ditz. But as her party has drifted farther and farther left, she has matched them step by step, to maintain her leadership.
Running nationwide, she couldn’t be elected dogcatcher. In an NBC News/Wall Street Journal poll last December, Pelosi had a 28% favorability rating. After two years of media pummeling, the president’s approval rating was 37%. It’s now over 50% in some polls.
What’s Nancy’s grand strategy? When she was last speaker, a Democrat was president and her party controlled the Senate. All of that’s gone, and her foil won’t be an establishment Republican.
The one drawback Republicans had in 2018 (besides a relentlessly hostile media) was the lack of a record to run against.
After two years of the Pelosi Congress passing fantastic spending bills and tax hikes, trying to abolish ICE, adopting a “green agenda” (repeal the industrial revolution to counter a nonexistent threat), Republicans will have something to run against. Instead of Truman’s 1948 campaign against a do-nothing Congress,” they can campaign against Pelosi’s abolish-America House.
Pelosi’s daughter, filmmaker Alexandra Pelosi, warned Wednesday that no one can beat her Mom. “She’ll cut your head off, and you won’t even know you’re bleeding.” You could cut off Nancy Pelosi’s head and she wouldn’t even know it was missing.
At least it’s fun listening to her blathering, unlike her Senate counterpart, Granny Schumer, who could put NoDoz to sleep.
Don Feder is a former Boston Herald writer who is now a political/communications consultant. He also maintains a Facebook page.
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