Live For Ever With Frozen Brane!

Barb Wire

Ha, ha, that guy went out. So i am hear insted.

My prefesser he mad me reade this news story al abuot how they can freze yore brane and make yiu live for ever! Thay figger thay can do it in thrity years from now, and thay wil be abble to mak you live to be 500!

And that shuld shut them christins up but goood! Yah, hah, See, you stopid christins! Sceince wil give inmortallity!

Dont “yiu” see wear this is going??? my prefesser he says. “Iffn we onely frezes the branes of interllecturals lik us, and no branes of ordrinary dum peple, and then we dosnt let no one have a babby, then the ordrinary dum peple thay wil al dye out and thar wil be noboddy but us smart interllecturals left says” he. And then som repulbican who snucked into the leckture he sayed what abuot “socaled interllecturals who” already “got there branes frozen” and “it” didnt do them no good?

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So we beet him up becose whatt he sayed, it was aginst Diversity.

Later we was lookin araond for somboddy’s brane to put in the freezer so we culd tak it out like 30 yeares later and then we put it in a bionic boddy and iff yiu do that over and over again that person wil live for ever!! My prefesser he sayed How “abuot we use yore brane?” But i sayed “No that wuld not be goood becuse i not finished yet gettin my Degre in Gender Studies” and this exspearmint with moth hormones it not over yet ether and my prefesser he jist hit me and he caled me a Sissy!

Yiu “has” hurted my feelers!” i sayed and then he sayed he was sory and he give me a nice hankerchiff to ete with my lunch so i gess I wil not bring no charges aginst him and Later he caled me smart so thats O K now.

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.

Lee Duigon
Lee Duigon, a contributing editor with the Chalcedon Foundation, is a former newspaper reporter and editor, small businessman, teacher, and horror novelist. He has been married to his wife, Patricia, for 34 years. See his new fantasy/adventure novels, Bell Mountain and The Cellar Beneath the Cellar, available on www.amazon.com.

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