This morning a publicist invited me to review a book offering “a fresh alternative to traditional therapeutic methods.” Oh, boy. What is this fresh alternative?
Past Lives Regression Therapy, of course. And it’s not just for New Age bozos, says the publicist–like, it’s totally mainstream!
Excuse me a moment. I have to go bang my head against the wall.
The author, says the publicist, is a “certified regression therapist.” Certified? By who? I’m sure I can find individuals who are certified dowsers, too. The difference is, the dowser either finds water or he doesn’t. How do you get certified to browse through your patient’s past lives?
I’m sorry. Every time I hear about past lives, I think of some fat guy with a black beard and a bad complexion woo-wooing about how he once was a lady-in-waiting to Marie Antoinette.
If we really had past lives, the Bible would have told us. Instead, God’s word says, “And as it is appointed unto men once to die, but after this the judgment: so Christ was once offered to bear the sins of many…” (Hebrews 9:27) Note that it does not say you die whole bunches of times and keep on coming back as Sonja Henie.
Then again, this author has “trained with the world’s foremost experts” on unraveling Joe Blow’s glamorous past lives.
I thought this twaddle had all dissolved away ten years ago or so: that past lives had become old hat, replaced by exciting new inanities like transgenderism and Chrislam. Well, maybe it still attracts some old hippies. That and animal spirit guides. We have a store in our town where they can put you in touch with your animal spirit guide, in case you need stock tips from a hamster.
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.