‘Condom Olympics’: A Required Assignment in College Course

Barb Wire

For many unsuspecting parents, when they send “little” Suzy or Johnny off to a college or university, little do they realize that the curriculum often includes Corruption 101.

As one of their graded assignments, University of Arizona (UA) students enrolled in the three-credit hour “Sex, Health, and AIDS” class were forced to organize a school-wide “Condom Olympics” that were held this past Wednesday.  The mind-polluting Professor William Simmons, who prefers “an action learning assignment” instead of those cumbersome old papers and final exams, said, “Hopefully this will get students comfortable knowing what condoms are.”  That’s right, we spend tens of thousands of our hard-earned dollars on the education of our young adult children just so they can learn how to accurately identify and utilize a condom.  Sadly, in our sex-saturated culture, they are already way too aware of such things.  However, if perchance there is some college-aged student out there who has somehow managed to remain unsullied by perhaps snoozing through their high school sex encouragement, I mean “education” class, let me suggest that they stay home, get a real job, and learn THAT kind of stuff for free!

As a part of the school’s Sex Talk Week Resourse Fair, the slate of “events” included a condom-wrapped egg toss, condom art, and a condom scavenger hunt.  Students also played a game of condom-encased football.  Unlike real Olympic sports, none of those seem like the kinds of activities that would require years of training and preparation, but then again, that’s just me.  The highlight of it all was a visit by your ever-congenial ‘Mr. Condom,’ the giant six-foot-tall walking condom.  Right about now, I’ll bet that every parent is longing for the days when the only thing their kids dreamed about was to catch a glimpse of Chuck E. Cheese passing out free tickets.  Now it’s “Mr. Condom” passing out free lube, condoms, and key chains on the UA Mall.

According to the official course listing website, this class “sets out to explore this social and disease phenomenon from a number of perspectives.” Apparently, the exploration of these issues now includes enticing students to acquire firsthand experiences in the “titillating” world of STDs.  Doesn’t that sound romantic for Valentine’s Day!  Yet, this is all being outrageously conducted under the guise of promoting student health.  How dare anyone ever presume to think that this event might have something to do with the endorsement of sexual promiscuity on campus.  Get your mind out of the gutter, and back into the sewer that is our higher educational system…where a mind is wonderful thing to warp.

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.

Jeff Allen is both a senior editor and columnist for BarbWire. He also serves as senior pastor in a mainline Christian church in Indiana. He is an ordained elder in the Church of the Nazarene. Jeff is involved in several community ministries.

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