College Rules Gorillas ‘Too Masculine’

Barb Wire

Banned! For being too “masculine” and “not inclusive” enough…

Why do I keep saying that if you actually care about them and don’t want them turned into idiots, you shouldn’t send your sons or daughters to a public university?

Well, an official at the University of Kansas has ruled that gorillas can’t be included in a jungle-themed floor decoration in a dorm because gorillas are…get this… “too masculine” and “not inclusive” enough:

“I think it would be best if your floor chose a different theme animal to be more inclusive,” Assistant Complex Director Dale Morrow wrote in an email at the start of this academic year. “First, gorillas represent a very masculine image, and I feel that this would not be inclusive to all of our residents on that floor.”

Trending: Former Kavanaugh Law Clerk Speaks Out

Oh, if only there were transgender gorillas! Or at least some really gay gorillas. Then college kiddies could see a jungle picture with a gorilla in it. But if their eyes should happen to fall upon the image of a, well, regular gorilla–ooh! And without even a trigger warning! We’re gonna need a bigger Safe Space!

I keep thinking these are actually satires that I’m writing, no pack of “educators” could actually be so asinine. But they are, and this is not a satire.

People who care about their sons and daughters shouldn’t send them to the University of Kansas.

Oh, and go ahead, you libs and progs out there–explain to the rest of us why this is such a good thing. If you can.

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.

Lee Duigon
Lee Duigon, a contributing editor with the Chalcedon Foundation, is a former newspaper reporter and editor, small businessman, teacher, and horror novelist. He has been married to his wife, Patricia, for 34 years. See his new fantasy/adventure novels, Bell Mountain and The Cellar Beneath the Cellar, available on www.amazon.com.

Join the conversation!

We have no tolerance for comments containing violence, racism, profanity, vulgarity, doxing, or discourteous behavior. Thank you for partnering with us to maintain fruitful conversation.