Campaign Cardinal Rule: Be Authentic

It’s acceptable to try new things, even during a presidential campaign. Just don’t make the mistake of acting like you’re an expert.

In the 1988 presidential campaign pitting Bush H. W. Bush against Michael Dukakis, the latter’s campaign team thought the public viewed their champion as weak on defense. To bolster his hawkish bona fides, Dukakis agreed to visit a Michigan General Dynamics plant that made M1A1 Abrams tanks. It didn’t go well.

In the 2004 presidential race, Democrat chosen one John Kerry, Mr. Teresa Heinz Kerry himself, took time out of his elitism to slum with some of his would-be constituents to go bird hunting in Ohio. He found the nearest corner grocery store that sold hunting licenses, sauntered in with his pack of Jonathans, and said:

“Can I get me a huntin’ license here?”

Trending: Pelosi Tells Another Whopper

Fast forward to January of this year to Elizabeth Warren, who clicked the Instagram Live button in her kitchen with her husband. I’ve seen teenagers do a better job of acting normal after getting caught stealing Dad’s beer.

As if that wasn’t bad enough, Fauxcahontas wrote her own column on The Cut to show her Game of Thrones street cred.

I watch Game of Thrones because, just like everyone else, I want to find out who lives, who dies, and who ends up on the spiky iron chair in King’s Landing. But for me, the hit HBO show is about more than a death count (I’ll leave that to Arya). It’s about the women.

Libby, I promise I’ll vote for you if you shut up.

On the extremely rare chance she has watched Game of Thrones – as in Las Vegas bookies are putting their money on finding Nicole Brown’s real killer – I want to register an official complaint right here and now that if you come out of GoT with the theme of “It’s about the women,” you don’t belong in the audience.

One thing Americans do well, I mean really well, is detect a fraud. For a host of reasons they may still vote for it, but with the naked eye they can detect a fraud if it sat on a fly’s rear end at 1,000 yards. This is especially true in what is mockingly termed flyover country. We don’t care if you don’t always do what we do – hunt, fish, shoot, knit, eat meat, play chess, ride a unicycle –  but we care if you’re fake.

So please, candidates, leave the adventure of trying new things to a time when you’re not running for president. If you must, offer up some self-deprecating remarks to show your humanity, and be a good sport at looking stupid. Otherwise, just be yourselves.

And if you’re a Democrat, be someone else.

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.

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