Bill Clinton Picks His Nose

Barb Wire

I think, whether we admit it or not: we all pick our nose.

It’s a really touchy subject.

Some people laugh it off,

Some people turn red

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Others lie about it, rejecting the assertion that just moments before, if I were to have punched them in the nose, I would have broken their index finger.

For the most part I don’t confront people about it. Whether they know I can see them picking away and they aren’t bothered because they know I pick as well, but that I pick in private, doesn’t matter.

Some, like myself, are not popular enough to risk someone seeing me pick my nose.  I need all the friends I can get.

Last week a bewildered Bill Clinton was caught with his finger up his nose, far enough to be tickling his brain.

Hilary (public relations genius that she is) decided the best endorsement for her bid for ‘socialism-izing’ the US was to send good old Billy out door knocking for votes.

Now let’s be clear, when you’re trying to become the first Democratic woman president in American history, and in your bag of laurels are found Benghazi, a crooked law career, a top-secret email scandal, the reputation of being a snobby impossible-to-work-with (fill in the blank); probably the worst thing to do is send your womanizing, lying, cheating, creepier than grandpa Joe Biden, possible serial rapist ex-president husband out on the campaign trail to vouch for you.

In an election, even hearsay can kill you in the water.

What were they thinking sending Billy–boy out?

Truly, truly, isn’t this an example of how thick their glasses must be?

It would be one thing if the “supposedly reformed” Billy was able to behave himself with the ladies (which apparently he can’t) and he was able to behave responsibly and lie like the professional crowd hypnotist that Obama is. But when Bill decides to tell the world that Donald Trump’s personal life should be fair game, and on display.

How unaware of the world around you do you have to be, as a scandalous ex-president, to not realize that people have been, are, and will forever be watching you? To me, this suggests the Clintons may have been dining on crystal meth brownies and huffing gas rags!

I’m sure Trump’s story would be pretty similar to his syndicated show The Apprentice: “Next episode Trump promotes Scientific Calculators!”, “Oh look! Another million dollars!” (ya, that kind of boring).

In contrast William’s life on display would be similar to that of a chop-shop porno (dark and greasy; burger wrappers everywhere with knocked over welding bottles in the corner).

An ABC correspondent asked Bill whether his past be was “fair game”, if, so be it, Trumps was. Amazingly, William was unprepared to answer. He stammered a bit; “uh-ed” a little, and then dribbled out, “the Republicans have to decide who they want to nominate”.

Good Bill, that was real good (place finger in nose).

Once again, how is an ex-president, who delivered such a challenge, unaware of the possible backlash, that is just around the corner?

Dems or not, I thought these people had to be smart to run for president, let alone sit in office??

I don’t want to flog a dead horse, but just to remind us of what kind of history surrounds this infamous ex-president Hilary Clinton representative:

We dabble into the scandalous past and present of the William Jefferson Blythe III Clinton Administration.

Be prepared:

(In alphabetical order)

This list does not include the “Bill Clinton: serial rapist” accusations detailed in Roger Stone and Robert Morrow’s new book titled “The Clinton’s War on Women”.

Whether all are legitimately Billy’s fault or not, that’s a lot of ‘poo’ to be scraping off the carpet.

Yes, all of Bill’s fingers are now buried in his ‘shnauz’.

With such a brainless threat to Trump, some of us have to wonder if Billy is working against his wife’s bid for political power. Surely, surely, he must know that opening the can to trump’s personal life is a hand delivered invitation for the world to peer into the twisted reality of both him and Hilary (again).

Could Bill be that out-of-it? Was he mesmerized by the strapless red dress that sauntered past him while he was making his threat?

Folks, I think we have a real problem here. If for some unknown reason Hilary get’s in (Ahem! Conspiracy theory….Soros…Rockefeller…..autocracy….cough! Cough!), it might be the death-blow to the whole fifty states.

Why does Hilary want to be president anyways? She has the moral depth of bacteria? We know it’s for personal reasons and not for the betterment of the American people. That is for sure!

You would figure that after having her dignity publically ripped from her by Billy’s young office interns during her stay at the Whitehouse, she would have had enough of the DC celebrity lifestyle.

I remember when William left the oval office, the tabloids went nuts for years, with stories of Hilary leaving the marriage; she’s a lesbian; she caught Bill with the maid or received an anal probe from aliens (and none of us were too surprised).

But what did surprise us was that she didn’t leave. Inwardly we suspected that Bill owed her for the shame of those years and that Hillary would collect down the road.

Could this be some ploy to regain her dignity after feeling like the ugly stepsister Bill made her feel like by throwing “it” around like a Frisbee?

In our near future, I smell gunpowder; I hear gangster rap in the distance and see baldies in white bed sheets fighting in the neighborhood park.  Even right now, the Black Panthers have armed patrols walking certain streets in America.

Hilary will finish the destruction that Barry started (believe-you-me!). And it’s my personal opinion that all of that will end with a second US civil war. If the race baiters do their job properly, it will be a civil war between blacks and whites.

I think it’s blatantly obvious just how important it is that we have a person in the oval office that is dedicated to the restoration of the United States of America. The Grim Reaper is sitting out back of the delicatessen, arms crossed, having a smoke, going through his text messages. He’s looking for that message from the American people to either bring doom to those who pronounce doom on the West, or the directions to bring us calamity, through Hilary Clinton.

It’s a bad sign when someone as out of touch with reality as Hilary Clinton can be a front-runner in the most important US election to date.

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.

JG Smoothy
JG Smoothy is a musician and the writer of UNDERSTANDING THIS JESUS THING. He has one wonderful wife and three crazy children. JG is a pastor in Southern Alberta Canada and is in the middle of yet another book writing project.

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