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New Maybelline Model is a Man


So the sages and feminists at our Great Institutes of Higher Learning are worried about “hyper masculinity,” and how to weed it out of our culture.

Well, first they’ll have to find some.


If you can stand it, take a good look at the picture above. This is “the first male Maybelline New York spokesperson,” and “one of our favorite beauty boys.”

For the first time ever, the brand behind must-have products including Baby Lips and Great Lash picked some familiar faces to front its new mascara campaign. Beauty vloggers Manny Gutierrez and Shayla Mitchell were just announced as Maybelline’s newest partners for a series of fun videos for its new Big Shot Mascara by Colossal. Together, the duo has 5.2 million followers combined on Instagram. But let us back up a bit.

Gutierrez, better known as MannyMUA733 on the Internet, is not only one of the first beauty influencers to team up with the company, he’s also the first man to.

Hey, hit the beach on D-Day with a brigade of these guys. Maybe the Germans would laugh themselves to death.

Can you imagine this… man’s… mother? “Yessir, that’s my boy! Ain’t he the berries? If you’re worried about too much masculinity, just talk to my son the Maybelline man–if he can’t tell you how to get rid of masculinity, nobody can!”

We have a very, very deep pit to climb out of. I doubt we can make it on our own: we’ve gone too far.

Nevertheless, repentance can do great things; and it may be that the Lord will save us, if we ask Him… on our knees, with tears and supplications.


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