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Finally! Some valid reasons to vote for Donald Trump


Ask and ye shall receive.

I’ve been requesting valid reasons why anyone who sincerely cares about the Constitution, or claims to be a conservative, can still be supporting Donald Trump’s reality show … err … presidential campaign now that we have a clearer picture of his New York values. And knock me over with a feather if Trump Cult hasn’t risen to the occasion once more. Blasting off with a litany of (nonsensical) explanations for why they’re committing what amounts to political self-immolation.

Because what’s the point of living through a systemic societal collapse if you can’t laugh at your own personal apocalypto, I thought I’d share some of the better ones with our readers here at the Washington Times.

Warning: these will not raise your I.Q.

“Ted Cruz is a fake Christian who doesn’t tithe enough, so I’m voting for Trump who rejects God’s forgiveness.”

“I hate Marco Rubio because he was for amnesty, so I’m voting Trump who donated money to help most of those gang of 8 guys elected.”

“John Kasich is pro-Obamacare so he sucks, that’s why I’m voting Trump, who’s for single-payer healthcare.”

“I hate the GOP establishment always betraying conservatives so I’m voting Trump, who’s to the Left of them all.”

“I hate low-information voters that’s why I’m voting Trump even though I don’t know where he stands on anything.”

“Obama’s cult of personality is pathetic, that’s why I’m on the Trump train to make America Great Again.”

“I’m pro-life, that’s why I’m voting for Trump, who Planned Parenthood says is their favorite Republican.”

“I’m an evangelical, that’s why I’m voting Trump who’s okay with me being put in jail for what I believe.”

“Man, I’m tired of corporatists buying off politicians, so I’m voting for Trump, a billionaire corporatist who buys off politicians.”

“Man, I’m tired of corporatists buying off politicians, so I’m voting for Trump, who buys off politicians.”

“I’m tired of Obama betraying Israel, that’s why I’m voting Trump, who said Israel has to give up more to Islamists.”

“Obama’s Iran deal is dangerous, that’s why I’m voting Trump who said he wouldn’t tear it up day one as president.”

Conclusion — it may be time for Mr. Trump to change his campaign slogan to “cocaine is a helluva drug.”

First published at The Washington Times


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