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Morgue Worker Admits Molesting up to 100 Dead Bodies

By Rebekah Maxwell

This Week’s Sign the Apocalypse is Upon Us.

We’ve come a long way in our enlightened society. We know that all we need is love, and that love is whatever we want it to be. Now, we need to accept that love isn’t just for the living any more.

CBS Cleveland reports:

A morgue attendant has reportedly admitted to having sex with up to 100 female bodies while at work.

Kenneth Douglas, who worked the night shift at the morgue from 1976 to 1992, admitted in court that he sexually abused corpses while he was on drugs or drunk.

“If I hadn’t had anything to drink when I went to work, it wouldn’t happen,” Douglas reportedly said. “I would do crack and go in and drink and go in.”

The 6th U.S. Circuit Court of Appeals ruled that Hamilton County can be sued because of his actions and will allow the suit to continue.

Douglas’ wife testified that she tried reporting him to the coroner’s office, but the morgue supervisor told her to stop calling.

Douglas’ crimes were discovered in 2008 when DNA connected him to the decapitated body of a murder victim (19-year old Karen Range). He admitted that he had sex with three women’s bodies while they were awaiting autopsies.

In 2012, the families of the three victims sued the county.

“I can’t explain this at all,”  Hamilton County Prosecutor Joe Deters said.

Al Gerhardstein, one of the families’ attorneys, said that the county ignored the warning signs.

“The county had plenty of notice that Douglas was coming to work and was present at work while he was under the influence of alcohol and drugs,” Gerhardstein told WCPO. “Had he been stopped, these women would not have been abused.”

How utterly intolerant, sir. How can you discriminate against this man’s particular predilection for headless lovers? He wasn’t hurting any body (since they’re long past the point of feeling pain). Why shouldn’t he be allowed to enact his necrophiliac urges without being judged?

True, there wasn’t exactly consent involved…but they couldn’t refuse consent either. Because they’re not really people anymore, right?

And it’s not as though there’s something special or sacred about the human person anyway. Not as though we’re created in the image of an almighty and holy God, that as such we should be protected and honored, or that desecrating that image demands punishment and censure.

No, we’re nothing more than accidental upright chemical combinations, reacting to stimuli until we turn to worm food.

Mr. Douglas’ stimuli told him that having sex with the decomposing bodies of murder victims was a good idea. So he did what made him happy…about 100 times. Surely there’s nothing wrong, or morally repugnant, about that, right?

Wouldn’t the only “abuse” here be that Mr. Douglas is made to feel guilty for his actions? Who are we to judge his desires? It made him happy to get cracked out and molest dead bodies. Surely a little necrophilia never killed anyone. Except Jeffrey Dahmer’s victims.

Why can’t we all just live and let live? Until we die and a stranger pries our dignity from our cold dead fingers. Just ignore that bile rising unbidden in your throat. That’s your bigotry showing.

Rebekah Maxwell grew up from stage to stage in a Midwestern gypsy band, singing and playing music with her family.

She was homeschooled from backstage to the front pew, a system that suited her independent, slightly contrary, nature. She completed her high school work at age 16, and then promptly got a job as announcer at a local radio station, opting for a career that combined music, microphones and live performance with a steady paycheck. She began reporting and producing at WHO Radio in 2007, with on-air work recognized by the official alphabet soup: the AP, IBNA, NBNA, RTDNA, NAB (all the while staying far from the TSA and UFOs). While she attended Drake University to learn the ropes of legitimate broadcast journalism, she’s also been quoted as saying that her experience with the Deace Show has been at least as educational as college (and at a lower interest rate). She delights in debating religion, politics, and all other subjects impolite at the dinner table. Her favorite time of year is Caucus season, and she’s an accomplished slam poet, ready to spit the truth…in mad rhymes, if necessary.

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