The Question of Lent: How Am I Living the Christian Life in the Real World?

Barb Wire

When I was a young man I was part of the Steubenville miracle, the renewal of the College of Steubenville and its metamorphosis into the Franciscan University of Steubenville. The Lord used a wonderful Franciscan Friar named Fr Michael Scanlan to accomplish that work. I had the privilege of calling him my friend.  At his side during those early days was a group of priests, who shared his deep faith and helped him to build. They stood with him as he did spiritual warfare, suffered, prayed and persevered in the work. Like Fr Michael, they had the courage to do the hard work which early days of such efforts always require.  I thought of two of those priests this Ash Wednesday. One of those priests was a Passionist named Fr Philip Bebie, CP. Another a Franciscan friar named Fr. David Tickerhoof, TOR. Fr Phillip prepared my wife Laurine and I for the Sacrament of Marriage.We will celebrate our 39th wedding anniversary in a few weeks.

Fr Phillip had a tremendous influence on us both. He was a holy, humble, happy and very human priest – whose love for the Lord and devotion to Our Lady shone through in every area of his life.

He lived, suffered and died, as a witness of the power of cruciform love. I believe he is one of our contemporary saints who is not (yet) canonized. I dedicated one of my early books to him. I will forever be grateful to the Lord for this treasure of a priest who revealed Christ the High Priest to me at such a vital time of formation.

During our marriage preparation, Fr Phillip once said to me “Keith, I know how much you love Lolly (her nickname back then). I also know that married love, which participates in God’s love, matures, grows through the seasons of life and has as its real goal your mutual holiness and heaven. Marriage is about becoming a saint. You two will help one another grow into the Image and likeness of Jesus”.

He then read these words aloud to the both of us from St Paul, found in his letter to the Christians at Corinth:

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Love is patient, love is kind. It is not jealous, it is not pompous, it is not inflated, it is not rude, it does not seek its own interests, it is not quick-tempered, it does not brood over injury, it does not rejoice over wrongdoing but rejoices with the truth. It bears all things, believes all things, hopes all things, endures all things.

Finally – and this is what I remembered specifically this morning – he directed me, “Keith, as your married life unfolds, and you continue to love your wife “as Christ loves the Church” (Eph. 5:25) and raise your children, I want you to return to those words regularly. Where the text says “love” – I want you to substitute your name and make an examination of conscience.”

He continued, “pausing at each expression of the virtues which are the manifestation of love being made perfect, I want you to ask yourself this question – and answer it with honesty before the Lord – How Am I doing?”

Well, almost forty years later, after Laurine and I have lived our vocation to Christian marriage in the heart of the Church, raised five children and now have seven grandchildren, I still hear those words of that saintly priest and realize – I have a long way to go in this Way of following Jesus and becoming like Him.

Realizing the need to continue progressing in my response to the Lord’s invitation to love as He loves (John 13:34), I was also reminded of Fr David Tickerhoof, TOR.

Fr David was a gregarious and holy man whose love for the Lord was infectious. I lost track of him over the years but recently discovered online that he is a missionary in South Dakota. I was not surprised.

Back in those early Steubenville days, about a week before Ash Wednesday, Fr David would tell me “I am looking forward to Lent.” The comment perplexed me. I thought it was strange. “Why would anyone look forward to Lent”, I wondered. In my 20 year old mind, mistakenly thinking as most 20 year olds do that I knew everything, I would dismiss the comment as some sort of odd piety.

Yet, Fr David had the wisdom borne only of age, experience and longevity in walking the Way of the Lord. I now echo the words I once thought so odd, “I am looking forward to Lent” and younger folks think I am odd. Ah, the seasons of life and love!

Lent is an invitation to ask the question Fr Phillip recommended, “How am I doing?” – and to be brutally honest before the Lord in my answer. How am I really living the Christian life in the real world?

Then, it is an invitation to get to work from the inside out. Lent is a gift given to us by the Lord, but we have to unwrap it and apply its remedial and healing prescriptions.

The real world is where we live. It is also where the Lord lives His life, in and through us. He invites us to open up our lives and let Him shine the light of love during these 40 days. The choice is ours.

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.

Deacon Keith Fournier
Deacon Keith Fournier is Founder and Chairman of the Common Good Foundation and Common Good Alliance, which are dedicated to the conversion of culture through four pillars of participation; life, family, freedom and solidarity. He is the Editor-in-Chief at Catholic Online. He is a constitutional lawyer who appeared in four cases before the United States Supreme Court on Pro-Life, Religious Freedom and Pro-family issues. He is the author of eight books on Christian living, Christian family and public policy issues. Deacon Fournier is a member of the Clergy of the Diocese of Richmond, Virginia. He holds his BA in theology and philosophy from the Franciscan University of Steubenville, his Masters Degree in Marriage and Family Theology from the John Paul II Institute of the Lateran University (MTS), his Juris Doctor Law Degree Law (JD) from the University of Pittsburgh School of Law and is a PhD candidate in Moral Theology at the Catholic University.

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