The more any normal person knows about feminism, the less inclined they are to call themselves a feminist. This is obviously true for women — does the name “Joyce Trebilcot” ring a bell? — but is doubly true for males. Sure, everybody sees what’s up when some guy in Hollywood or a powerful Democrat politician ostentatiously panders to feminists. It’s noblesse oblige and also good for business.
However, when a random dude goes out of his way to show what a Heroic Feminist Ally he is, you know he’s some kind of creep. Last year, Professor Hugo Schwarz was exposed as a dangerous psycho. Now a “diversity consultant” named Jamie Utt confronts reality:
The first time a woman told me she distrusted me because I’m a man, she tried to explain that it wasn’t personal, that she’s not been given many reasons to trust me (or any man for that matter). She said she’s especially skeptical of me because I called myself a feminist.
That last part really threw me for a loop. She didn’t even really know me! And I’m a good guy!
Fast-forward a few years and how can I blame her? Male “feminist” allies have a history of abusing women’s trust.
For fear of making the movement look bad, the male “allies” of the Occupy Wall Street movement stood silent when multiple women came forward after having been sexually assaulted by other “Occupiers.”
After being lauded and defended by many (including myself) as a model for how to be a better man, Hugo Schwyzer was exposed to be a racist, abusive liar (as if many women of Color hadn’t been saying so all along).
Charles Clymer has been exposed as abusive and self-serving as he attempts to brand himself a “feminist” hero of some kind. . . .
A while back I wrote about fake allies — specifically, Charles Clymer, a cis white dude who used to run a popular Facebook page called “Equality for Women” but shut it down amidst accusations that, among other things, he was deleting comments from and banning women who questioned his views or the way he ran the page. And then there was his abusive verbal flaying of Stephanie Kay in a private conversation that went public a year or so ago and revealed the dude beneath the Perfect Feminist Ally act. It didn’t help that when called on that tirade, Clymer basically stood by his remarks and went on to admit — almost proudly — that his goal is to become a professional Feminist Leader. And he dug himself in deeper when, following the many accusations leveled at him directly and via the #StopClymer hashtag (by nearly every woman who had been a moderator at the EFW Facebook page, among others), he tweeted promising to address his “mistakes” with an apology and dropped off the Internet for several weeks. When he reappeared, he deleted the aforementioned tweet and went back to promoting the “Charles Clymer: Feminist Ally” brand.
On his Twitter profile, Clymer describes himself as “Army Vet + Feminist + LGBTQ,” and yeah, whatever. The #StopClymer hashtag has been going strong for months, because Clymer is a very predictable kind of douchebag, the progressive male so arrogant as to think the feminist movement needs males for . . . well, anything.
I think I captured his likeness pretty well. 😉
— Rosie (@MMASammich) December 12, 2014
Any male who believes the feminist movement needs his volunteer assistance should first ask himself, “Do I hate myself enough?”
It takes a profound masochistic tendency for any male to support a movement that regards all men as complicit in rape, and views heterosexuality as oppression imposed on females by the patriarchy.
If you’ve been socialized in dominant constructions of gender in the US (and many other parts of the “Western” world for that matter), no matter how much you try to be an ally, you’re going to screw up.
This is because it takes tremendous work on self for those socialized into privilege to fight that socialization. . . .
I’ve done the mental backflips necessary to justify my sexist, chauvinist, anti-feminist behavior while calling myself “feminist.” There have been times when I’ve been terrible to women. There are still times when I live more fully in my patriarchal socialization than in my feminist values.
So the work of ending abuse committed by “feminist” men must inevitably mean that I start with myself.
You’re embarrassing yourself, dude.
First published at TheOtherMcCain.com
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.