Wedding for One: Woman ‘Marries’ Herself

Barb Wire

By Rebekah Maxwell – BarbWire guest contributor

This Week’s Sign the Apocalypse is Upon Us

In this fantastic age of ever-evolving utopia, we have discovered the meaning of life– and it’s all about ourselves.

We celebrate ourselves and sing ourselves. Now, we marry ourselves.

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Last week, Yasmin Eleby of Houston decided to “marry” herself, inviting friends and family to a lavish ceremony to celebrate her union to…herself.

“I’d been saying a few years that if I hadn’t gotten married by the time I was 40, I’d just have a wedding by myself,” Eleby told ABC News today. “I decided I didn’t want it to be a joke. I wanted to have a celebration of myself. My wedding was going to be about me making a commitment to love myself, to honor myself and to know my self-worth.”

Because that’s what marriage is all about…loving yourself. Who needs another person for a union (wherein two become one)?

From ABC’s coverage (titled “Woman Marries Herself — But Not for the Reason You Think”):

Eleby said she came dancing down the aisle to Stevie Wonder’s “Isn’t She Lovely,” along with her mother and bridesmaid. She was wearing a purple gown because purple is her favorite color. The dance ended at the altar in the center of the room. Colone said he arranged for Eleby to be in the middle of the guests arranged in a circle because he wanted her to be the center of attention.

As a wedding should be…all of the attention for yourself, with none of the pesky commitment to love, honor, and serve another person.

Now, this isn’t a legally binding ceremony, because our outdated and discriminatory laws haven’t evolved enough yet. The bride-and-groom-in-one says it was a “spiritual ceremony,” in which three self-styled ministers blessed her vows to herself.

Three ministers — her eldest sister, a niece and friend — then asked together, “Who thinks Yasmin is 40 and fabulous?” The 160 guests in the room chimed, “We do!”

Eleby then delivered a series of vows to herself “committing to forgive, love and honor yourself,” so help her, herself.

Which is totally different than what every human implicitly pledges every moment of their existence on earth; this is real, public, and explicit recognition that her primary love and loyalty, forsaking all others, is for herself.

Yasmin Eleby is hardly the first woman to perform such a stunt, er make the brave commitment of sologamy; there’s a brief list of similar “self-marriages” at (yep).

Lifetime broadcast the made-for-tv movie I Me Wed several years ago, and before that, Sex in the City’s main character “married” herself (between dashing off to more dates with rich men).

Framed by these women as an expression of self-worth and empowerment, even our enlightened world looks at such displays as either extravagant, arrogant, or pitiful.

Can it be a woman (because it’s almost always women) is so desperate for the “wedding” ceremony that she’ll enact an empty pantomime of a partner-less wedding just for the dress and party?

Can it be that we’ve become so self-involved and broken that the only person one can truly commit to is oneself?

Could it be that our whole understanding of “marriage,” “love,” and the weddings that invoke it is so widely estranged from the designed reality, that we have so twisted eternal terms to fit our desires of the moment, that we are unable to engage in the most basic and necessary of human relationships.

Can it be that, after buying into all the popular dogma of the day which promised we could be happy and fulfilled without God, that we are still so desperate for love, belonging, and wholeness, that we’ll try anything and everything to fill the hunger in our souls…except the very fount of love Himself?

Most look at this woman’s fancy party and say, “that’s not a marriage.” But, abiding in progressive mindsets, why not? Why can’t “marriage” mean and include anything we want it to mean? If it no longer meets any objective purpose or design (because it was not crafted by a God we don’t even believe in) “marriage” can be anything…and therefore means nothing.

For even as this woman celebrates herself and “marries” herself, she told ABC that she’s dating someone right now.

“I don’t know if marriage is in the future or not,” she said.

Lady, you just “married” yourself. You promised to love, honor, and commit to yourself. In public. Before your mom and neighbors, and whoever you think God is.

And now you’re dating someone else? You’re cheating on yourself?! Wow.

Those marriage laws better evolve faster…because “divorcing yourself” sounds like it would take a darn good lawyer.

Rebekah Maxwell, producer of the Steve Deace Show, began reporting and producing at WHO Radio in 2007, with on-air work recognized by the official alphabet soup: the AP, IBNA, NBNA, RTDNA, NAB (all the while staying far from the TSA and UFOs). She delights in debating religion, politics, and all other subjects impolite at the dinner table. Her favorite time of year is Caucus season, and she’s an accomplished slam poet, ready to spit the truth…in mad rhymes, if necessary.

The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.

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