By Rebekah Maxwell – BarbWire guest contributor
This Week’s Sign the Apocalypse is Upon Us
(Warning: the following story contains language and mental imagery that may disturb many readers. Fortify yourself accordingly before continuing.)
Sadly, before our society’s last great evolutionary cycle, politics used to bring out the worst in us. In the old days, there was nothing too which we would not stoop; as though we could demean our opposition into compliance.
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Thank your favorite god that we’ve progressed since then– at the behest of our dearest rulers, we’ve entered Obama’s “new era of civility in politics.” Wherein we demean ourselves in order to support our leaders.
It is in the state we live and breathe, after all. There is nothing we would not do for the state. Nothing.
While the bar for progressive loyalty might have been set by the “Obama Girl’s” fawning, a young man from San Francisco has now topped it…with his “I’d Bottom For Hillary” campaign.
“Finding new ways to catch voters’ attention is going to be vital in the 2016 cycle, especially for millennials,” he says.
I’ll give you that, sir: you’ve caught some attention…and millennials know that any attention is good attention.
One of the shirts for sale on his website includes this graphic description (read at your own risk):
This shirt is for all you out there that would drop pants, bend over and bottom for Hillary Rodham Clinton.
This shirt is for the people who look at at Hillary’s pantsuit and end up on all fours, a** up. This shirt is for the men who see her, give a thumbs-up, and find your pants around your ankles. This shirt is for the ones who not only are supporting Hillary Clinton in 2016, but would bottom for her as well.
Possibly the very definition of a niche market.
While his…enthusiasm is meant to be “a light-hearted way to engage people in politics” (and truly, who could fail to be engaged by the mere thought of Hillary Clinton engaging in said act), Ryan says his campaign is a serious effort to support Hillary.
He also says the current war on religious freedom epitomizes why he’s linking Hillary with hypothetical sodomy:
“After seeing how the country reacted to the religious freedom laws in Indiana, it’s clear that LGBT rights are a serious topic in today’s political landscape.”
“Hillary knows that LGBT issues will be a huge asset during her campaign, because support of same-sex marriage and non-discrimination laws is a fundamental human rights stance to many young voters. The more that LGBT issues are a part of the conversation, the better Hillary will do with her millennial audience.”
Quite. As a millennial, what I most look for in a presidential candidate is how many gay men would be willing to have sex with them.
This fellow is correct that the war over religious freedom (and the LGBT lobby’s use of government to shut down that freedom) will define the 2016 cycle.
He does not seem to be aware that the vast majority of Americans (81%) actually support religious freedom, and say that the government should leave people free to follow their own beliefs about marriage. More than 60% also say the Supreme Court should not force individuals or states to redefine marriage.
Yes, millennials too.
With his (decidedly capitalist) campaign, Ryan has demonstrated how differently Hillary’s voter base must think. He manifested his earnest attempt to “celebrate” Hillary…by promoting the notion of being her physically invading him.
Most voters wouldn’t want any government representative within 1,000 feet of their sensitive spots, let alone the archetypal warrior for big government control.
But Mrs. Clinton’s fans are not like most people. We all expect our government to screw us–but it would appear Hillary’s supporters are literally asking for it.
Rebekah Maxwell, producer of the Steve Deace Show, began reporting and producing at WHO Radio in 2007, with on-air work recognized by the official alphabet soup: the AP, IBNA, NBNA, RTDNA, NAB (all the while staying far from the TSA and UFOs). She delights in debating religion, politics, and all other subjects impolite at the dinner table. Her favorite time of year is Caucus season, and she’s an accomplished slam poet, ready to spit the truth…in mad rhymes, if necessary.
The opinions expressed by columnists are their own and do not necessarily represent the views of Barb Wire.