Harvard’s Brilliant Scheme to Enforce ‘Inclusion’–Exclude Everybody!
True diversity at last!
Pity the man who tries to satirize “higher education”! It does such a remarkable job of satirizing itself.
For years, the Ontario Human Rights Commission (the orcs from OHRC) have been troubled by what they see as a lack of Diversity in many individuals’ personal circles of friends, and have pondered what to do about it.
Well, ponder no more–Harvard has the answer!
Starting next year, and to be finished by 2022, Harvard will carry out a new university policy of banning student membership in all clubs, fraternities, and societies–even ones off-campus that have nothing to do with their stupid university–and expelling anyone who joins one.
This is because of “behavior inconsistent with an inclusive campus,” which they will make more inclusive by excluding all the voluntary associations, and “a disregard for personhood,” whatever the deuce that is, says a Harvard bigwig with more words than sense.
In one breath-taking stroke, Harvard has solved the problem of lack of inclusion among friends:
Simply don’t allow anyone to have any friends.
Not enough Diversity? Get more of it by forbidding anyone to join any group that would distinguish him from someone else who isn’t in the group. You can only join a group which literally everyone else has joined. No joining the Harvard Stratego Club unless every student joins at precisely the same instant in time.
And maybe they ought to ban personal names while they’re at it, because having your own name is un-inclusive, man! It might even be a microaggression.
Yoo-hoo! Harvard alumni! Did you really donate money to this shambles? Why do you sit there like a bunch of mummies? You’re almost as useless and ineffectual as the board of trustees.
Stop giving them money. Stop it right now.
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