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College Rules Gorillas ‘Too Masculine’

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Banned! For being too “masculine” and “not inclusive” enough…

Why do I keep saying that if you actually care about them and don’t want them turned into idiots, you shouldn’t send your sons or daughters to a public university?

Well, an official at the University of Kansas has ruled that gorillas can’t be included in a jungle-themed floor decoration in a dorm because gorillas are…get this… “too masculine” and “not inclusive” enough:

“I think it would be best if your floor chose a different theme animal to be more inclusive,” Assistant Complex Director Dale Morrow wrote in an email at the start of this academic year. “First, gorillas represent a very masculine image, and I feel that this would not be inclusive to all of our residents on that floor.”

Oh, if only there were transgender gorillas! Or at least some really gay gorillas. Then college kiddies could see a jungle picture with a gorilla in it. But if their eyes should happen to fall upon the image of a, well, regular gorilla–ooh! And without even a trigger warning! We’re gonna need a bigger Safe Space!

I keep thinking these are actually satires that I’m writing, no pack of “educators” could actually be so asinine. But they are, and this is not a satire.

People who care about their sons and daughters shouldn’t send them to the University of Kansas.

Oh, and go ahead, you libs and progs out there–explain to the rest of us why this is such a good thing. If you can.

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