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The Devil’s Favorite Presidential Election

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“Anything that calls for you bags of meat to rise above your base nature of selfishness and vanity, we oppose with all our might down here.”

— Lord Nefarious 

In my new fiction book “A Nefarious Plot,” a demon general from Hell named “Lord Nefarious” describes why he was tasked by the devil with destroying the United States of America, as well as exactly how he did it. And the fact that our culture is too far gone to recognize the truth of what’s become of us, even after its laid out for us in vivid detail, will be the final proof that Hell has indeed won. Our days as a superpower are numbered.

Unfortunately, the way the 2016 presidential election is already playing out proves once more the old adage truth is stranger than fiction. Because regardless of their political ideology, if Lord Nefarious were indeed a real being, he and his minions would be cheering the three people most likely to be elected according to the polls — Hillary Clinton, Bernie Sanders, and Donald Trump.

Each of them represents and is running on the worst things about human nature. Instead of making any attempt to inspire the American people to be better than we are, each of these three individuals is instead attempting to politically capitalize on the desperation and divisiveness wreaking havoc in our culture.

For Sanders, a self-described socialist, he’s running on straw men and turning the sin of covetousness into a political platform. Or the idea that it’s simply not fair that some people are better gifted and more talented than others, therefore they should have their prosperity redistributed to alleged victims as punishment for their success. Of course, it’s government that gets to choose who these victimized people are, and somehow those in government are immune to the frailties of human nature bedeviling those of us in the private sector.

Now, are there injustices in our system? Of course, because human nature being what it is there are injustices in any system. And history has shown every time socialism is tried as a means to rectify those injustices, they actually become worse. The antidote to injustice is more liberty and competition, not less.

In Clinton’s case the basis for her candidacy seems to be the worst of both worlds — identity politics and cronyism.

Because if there’s one thing worse than electing another tool of the corporatists, it’s electing one who offers the country nothing else besides, “Vote for me because I’m a woman.” I have two terrific daughters at home. My wife and I raise them to be strong and feminine. Not to let being female hold them back by an unjust world, but rather to be proud of the gender their Creator assigned them. At the same time not to think they’re entitled to something they haven’t earned just because of it, either.

Like, what has Clinton actually accomplished? Her run as Secretary of State was a disaster — including the rise of the Muslim Brotherhood and the Arab Spring that decimated Libya, Syria, and plunged Egypt into riots and civil war. If the same person had Clinton’s record, but his name was Hugh instead of hers being Hillary, they’d have a snowball’s chance in Hell of getting elected to anything this year, let alone the presidency.

Finally, this brings us to Trump, who is re-running the 2008 Barack Obama campaign, minus the inspiring speeches. Just run down the Obama check list:

  • Does Trump capitalize on a uniformed segment of the electorate by creating a cult of personality that insulates him from being properly vetted? Check. Just as it was with Obama, his hardcore followers can’t really tell you something specific they like about Trump. They’re just convinced he’s a secular messiah who has all the answers. “Hope and change” becomes “make America great again.”
  • Does Trump ruthlessly demagogue all opposition? Check. When you disagreed with Obama, you were automatically a racist, now if you disagree with Trump, you hate America.
  • Does Trump promise to fix all of our problems but offer no real specifics? Check. Remember how Obama’s healthcare fix sounded great until the bill came due?

Trump is running on victimology, too, just like Obama did. White nationalists/racists come out of the woodwork to defend Trump on social media whenever I criticize him. Whatever language Trump is speaking at his rambling, stream of consciousness rallies seems to be these folks’ dog whistle.

Bottom line: If these are the three best choices we have, America loses regardless of who wins.

The tragedy of this election seems to be the American people have learned nothing about why many of them rightly believe the presidencies of Obama and George W. Bush were disappointments to varying degrees (and different reasons). Quite the contrary, we seem to be doubling down that this time things will be different, if we just try what’s already proven doesn’t work with a new gender, a new megalomaniac, or a new straw man argument.

Or, as Lord Nefarious would say, we are “totally and irrevocably screwed.”

First published at Conservative Review

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