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Ann Coulter and the Absolutely Stupidest Thing Ever Said By A Conservative Pundit

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For better or for worse, Ann Coulter was once considered one of the conservative movement’s premiere storm troopers. She was wicked smart. She was tough as nails. And she seemed to actually enjoy being a woman in a growing age of naggy and dour feminism.

Every time you went to a bookstore, there was Coulter selling a new release and cracking skulls. Every time you turned on the television, there was Coulter taking a scalp. And it didn’t matter whether the show was hosted by Chris Matthews or Bill O’Reilly, either. She never brought a knife to a gunfight.

More cowbell. On steroids. With a bazooka.

I miss that Ann. The one who still had the moral clarity to appear in worldview documentaries produced by the late Dr. D. James Kennedy. Unfortunately, it appears that Ann is long gone. She has been replaced with a sad caricature, which includes so many embarrassing meltdowns and contradictions it would require a whole separate column to chronicle them.

Suffice it to say Ann is like the weather in my home state of Iowa. If you don’t like what she’s saying now, stick around for a while because it will soon change. Trying to follow Ann’s train of thought is like following the closed captioning on your television when Ozzy Osbourne is mumbling … err … talking. After a while the device can’t keep up with Osbourne’s misfiring synapses, so it just gives up and uses ellipses and question marks in place of actual words.

Nowadays Ann has had to metamorphose from provocateur to the punditry equivalent of “your mama” jokes with a side of bullying. For that’s what happens to you when you start uttering complete nonsensical tripe like the following and call it a “hot take”:

It doesn’t matter how liberal Donald Trump is as long as he’s right on immigration.

Perhaps fittingly, or in honor of her Lefty doppelganger Melissa Harris-Perry, Coulter spewed this stupidity on MSNBC. Come to think of it, if we can get Harris-Perry and Coulter to fall in love, and mutually agree to leave this forsaken land once and for all, you might get this evangelical to finally “evolve” on gay marriage after all.

But back to this mind-numbing tomfoolery from Coulter. Ladies, let me holler at you first. Does the guy who promises to be faithful to you, if you overlook everything else about him that sets your warning bells off, ever keep that promise? Of course not. As the father of two adorable daughters, by God’s grace I hope I don’t raise them to be as willfully gullible as Coulter.

Does any such “liberal on every issue but immigration” politician exist anywhere?

Second, to all conservatives regardless of which of Facebook’s 57 acknowledged genders you currently claim: do you really believe a guy who gave more money than half of Americans make in a year to Rahm Emanuel’s corrupt Democrat Machine is going to be our immigration knight in shining armor? So a guy who has no regard for the First Amendment’s protections of free speech and religious liberty, and won’t even support the defunding of Planned Parenthood, is going to deport millions of potential cheap workers for his hotels, casinos, strip clubs, and golf courses?

Does any such “liberal on every issue but immigration” politician exist anywhere?

No, because no such “liberal on every issue but anything conservatives really care about” politician actually exists. Except within the warped bowels of Coulter’s stark-raving madness. To the rest of us not living on Planet Bi-Polar with Ann, we understand such magical thinking about politicians is akin to believing in unicorns, pro-life Democrats, or that Mitt Romney should’ve run again.

You want to make America great again, Ann? Well, Coulter’s unbalanced obsession with immigration is perhaps the surest way to guarantee such an important issue gets demagogued into oblivion. By both the open borders forces on the Left and the Chamber of Commerce shills who feast off the cheap, illegal labor on the fake Right.

If her conservative advocacy was, in fact, ever authentic at all, Coulter needs to reboot and diversify her portfolio. Realize the lifelong progressive who wrote “The Art of the Deal,” about how to manipulate the likes of Coulter, may also be playing one of the greatest long cons in the history of American politics.

What Coulter is asserting isn’t shrewd, nor is it strategy. It’s just stupid.

P.S. Oh, and Ann, your useful idiot status for Trump 2016 has already been confirmed. Here’s a link to Trump’s son appearing recently on Fox News, wanting to make sure everyone knows his daddy really is for amnesty after all.

Say hi to Nurse Ratched for me.

First published at Conservative Review

 



 

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