Jim Harbaugh For President
As a lifelong Michigan fan who grew up with Jim Harbaugh as his favorite Wolverine, I didn’t think my man-crush on the Maize-and-Blue’s new football coach could get any bigger than it already is.
The guy hasn’t even coached a game yet in Ann Arbor, but Captain America hosannas, like the ones he earned as quarterback for the Indianapolis Colts, are already raining down on him after he beat the toughest opponent of them all this week.
Faced with the douchetastic dumb-arsery of campus victimologists, who felt a showing of the movie American Sniper would be insensitive to Jihadists, Harbaugh reacted like any alpha male on the gridiron would when sensing weak sauce across the line of scrimmage.
He lined up and punched somebody in the mouth.
As told on Twitter, Harbaugh responded to the latest contrived grievance against America’s top grossing movie of 2014 by stating:
Michigan Football will watch ‘American Sniper’! Proud of Chris Kyle & Proud to be an American & if that offends anybody then so be it!
Behold, what came next was like watching Moses parting the Red Sea.
Where there was once a mere 300 signatories whining a campus of nearly 45,000 students into submission, less than 24 hours later there was a sweet exodus from liberal tyranny and idiocy (apologies for the redundancy). What America-haters intended to be their next tantrum became a model for decent people from all walks of life, who are tired of losing to a bunch of wimps that would be the first people killed by our enemies if it weren’t for men of valor like Chris Kyle.
Where once there was this garbage from the university: “We deeply regret causing harm to members of our community, and appreciate the thoughtful feedback provided to us by students and staff alike. While our intent was to show a film, the impact of the content was harmful, and made students feel unsafe and unwelcome at our program.”
There was then this epiphany following Harbaugh’s epic takedown of the perpetually offended, ne’er-do-well class: “The original decision to cancel the movie was not consistent with the high value the University of Michigan places on freedom of expression and our respect for the right of students to make their own choices in such matters.”
Translation—American wins, for a change. All because one dude with some cojones decided to call the bully’s bluff. Amazing what taking a stand will do.
That, folks, is what you call a whooping. Hide your mascots, your girlfriends and your national championships, Ohio State, if this is any indication of how the Wolverines are going to conduct their business on the gridiron from now on.
What a pity that more of us don’t fight like that. While Harbaugh’s stature certainly didn’t hurt in this situation, equally notable is that he responded quickly, assertively and unapologetically. He was confrontational without being condemning. He was, well, what American men in positions of authority used to be. Before they became the men of “nice.” No danger to anyone, except the people, values, and traditions they were born and bred to protect and defend.
And as a small, green Jedi master once said, “that is why you fail.”
The Republican political scene is a perfect case in point. One of their constant failings is to perpetually be on defense, because they accept the absurd premises of liberal attacks from the in-the-tank media—consumed by almost no one who would ever consider voting for them.
But Rand Paul was having none of that last week in his first days as an official candidate for president. When the press decided to test out his flank with a fresh war on women meme about abortion, he framed the issue perfectly with a profound counterattack.
“Is it okay to kill a 7-pound baby in the uterus?” he asked reporters. “You go back and go ask (Democrat National Committee chair) Debbie Wasserman Schultz if she’s okay with killing a 7-pound baby that’s just not born yet.”
That’s how it’s done. War on women? How about a war on babies? Riddle me that, oh people of reason and science.
One of the crucial things to remember when jousting with the politically correct mafia is that they are usually anything but reasonable or scientific. Instead, they have learned to leverage emotion and rhetoric in order to bully people into submission.
Yes, that can be frustrating, but it need not be the deadly mine field that wanna-be conservatives in the GOP make it out to be. Men and women of real resolve and character see the scam for what it is and punch back with a full barrage of Harbaugh haymakers.
The next GOP standard bearer must be someone who relishes the opportunity to turn into a headwind, and sees the opponent stacking the line of scrimmage to stop the running game as a challenge he looks forward to meeting. Not as an excuse to chuck-and-duck. It won’t be easy and not particularly enjoyable at times, but you’re running for the most powerful office on the planet. If you don’t have the testicular fortitude of a college football coach stay home.
We’re looking for folks to deploy Coach Harbaugh’s playbook, and find some Achilles heels to step on. In 2016 we’re looking for the Republican presidential candidate who doesn’t huddle with his bratty, metro-sexual consultants. We’re looking for the one who has Harbaugh’s Twitter call-to-arms chiseled into granite, so that it may be prominently displayed in the Oval Office one day soon as a reminder of what just a little bit of masculine courage can do.
Those who stay (and take a stand) will be champions.
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