TheDCNF’s Definitive List Of Things Liberals Blame On Global Warming

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You’ve heard it from scientists, environmentalists and even Secretary of State John Kerry: global warming is the greatest existential threat faced by humanity.

It’s no wonder that all bad weather, every conflict, disease outbreaks, you-name-it is blamed on increasing levels of carbon dioxide and temperatures.

But wait! There’s been a nearly 18-year pause in global warming, yet the existential threat continues. In honor of the left’s persistence in sounding the climate alarm, The Daily Caller News Foundation presents the top things liberals blame on global warming.

1. Polar Vortex Remember last winter when it was freezing and you couldn’t get to work because you were snowed in? That was caused by global warming according to White House science czar John Holdren. This is the guy who said there were too many people on Earth and we may need to have government imposed population controls — so you know he’s credible.

2. Colder Winters Winters have been trending colder for the last 20 years, according to data, but did you know this is because of global warming? Apparently, melting polar ice caps are making winters colder. Except both the Arctic and the Antarctic have seen sea ice growth, so… I’ve got some oceanfront property in Arizona I’d like to sell you. I’ll even throw in the Golden Gate for free (if sea level rises don’t destroy it first, of course).

3. California’s Drought Yes, you guessed it, global warming not only causes frigid weather and massive snowstorms, it also causes extreme droughts (and apparently all weather). Plausible, but only if you ignore the state’s long history of droughts that were way worse than the current one.

4. The Antarctic’s Sea Ice Boom Antarctic sea ice keeps breaking records, hitting 1,224,000 square kilometers above the 1981-2010 mean earlier this week. But the record ice levels are because of global warming, according to people constantly trying to prove the world is ending. There are even those who say the south pole is really in danger of melting because it’s western ice sheet is collapsing — ignoring the fact this has happened before in history without catastrophe.

5. Ebola Outbreak Some have asked if the current Ebola outbreak in Africa was made worse by global warming. An odd question since the world has not warmed for about 18 years, but even more disturbing are those who argue ebola (and literally every other disease) could get worse due to global warming. Certain diseases do thrive better in warmer weather, but it seems a little early to sound the alarm on warming-induced diseases.

6. Syrian Civil War Did you know the Syrian civil war was caused by global warming, and totally not because of the oppressive tactics of the Assad regime? Famine and drought caused mass migrations into Syria which sparked a massive conflict, according to a climate/security analyst. But this of course ignores the fact that claims of global warming-induced conflicts are overblown and not borne out in the evidence, according to actual military experts. Jeff Keuter, president of the Marshall Institute said “that methodology ignores and overlooks is the slow and gradual change in which most environmental things unwind, and it totally ignores the empirical evidence on the causes and correlates of conflict.”

7. Rape And Crime Along those same lines, some scholars have tried to argue that global warming will cause rape and crime to increase because hotter weather apparently makes people more pissed off and violent. This runs counter to the fact that past global temperature increases have been accompanied by a fall in global homicide rates since the early 1990s.

8. Sex Slaves And Prostitutes House Democrats signed a resolution last year saying that global warming could lead to more sex workers and such because food production would be weakened (despite evidence that increased CO2 levels is good for crops and plant life). You should probably take this claim with a grain of salt (well, maybe a tablespoon of salt).

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