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DevilWhispers

The Devil’s Seminaries

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When I was a little boy, I didn’t know the difference between a cemetery and a seminary. But now I do.

The cemetery is where they bury dead people. The seminary is where they bury truth.

Take, for instance, a guy named Yamada, president of the McCormick Theological Seminary. As reported in the November/December 2013 issue of “The Layman,” this teacher of teachers, this preacher to preachers, says that Genesis 2:18-25—in which God forms Eve from Adam’s rib—“is not about a man and a woman.”

Oh, no, says the seminary honcho: it’s only about God not wanting the man to be alone. The Lord could just as easily, implies this babbling schnook, have created for Adam a nice male “partner” to share the Garden of Eden with. I ask the reader’s pardon for this absurd blasphemy: I’m only reporting on Mr. Yamada’s prating at the recent “Marriage Matters” conference sponsored by the Presbyterian Church USA. The blasphemy is his, not mine.

He doesn’t say why God decided to create a woman rather than another man—only that it didn’t really matter. Perhaps God flipped a coin. Nor does Yamada explain how, with only a pair of poofs for starters, God might have planned to populate the earth with human beings. All he says is that any old help-mate would do.

Gee, I wish this was a satire. But it’s not.

According to the article, this dork’s doctrinal studies, at the seminary, “included Hebrew Bible with an emphasis on hermeneutics”—in this case, “hermeneutics” means the art of twisting the text to make it mean anything you want it to mean—“feminist theory and culturally-contextual Biblical interpretation,” this last referring to the art of doing violence to God’s word to make it conform to today’s bizarre cultural trends.

Surely there must be a few seminaries where God’s word is faithfully taught; but they are growing fewer all the time.

Like the demon-possessed Gadarene swine plunging en masse over the cliff and into the Sea of Galilee (Matthew 8:32), America’s flatline Protestant churches are stampeding into heresy. It’s not just the PCUSA. In the same issue, we read of a Baptist bishop in Detroit, one Allyson Abrams, who has quit her church because she has “married” another woman.

This is rich. She, too, forces the Bible to bear false witness against itself, by claiming that the Roman centurion in Luke 7, who pleads with Jesus to heal his dying servant, had a sexual relationship with the man.

Vile, isn’t it? But, “People have the right to interpret Scripture whatever way they please,” Abrams is quoted as saying.

Where was she when Jerry Sandusky needed her as a character witness?

Anyhow, her congregation was sorely miffed, so she stepped down. Not to worry: there are plenty of churches now that’ll welcome her with open arms.

Those churches are not just throwing in the towel. They’re going over to the other side. Synagogues of Satan, we may call them.

There is a homosexual named Matthew Vines who has launched a “Reformation Project” to convince “evangelicals” that sodomy is okay, after all. Why, all those Bible passages condemning the practice, he says, are just “cultural”: they don’t apply to our enlightened culture. And there’s a Methodist bishop in Pennsylvania who defies his church authorities by continuing to perform same-sex pseudo-marriages, and dares the UMC to stop him. Being Methodists, they don’t cast him out as a renegade. They just wring their hands and wonder what to do about it.

Seminary graduates, one and all. The prosecution rests, your honor.

All this is nothing more or less than rebellion against God, His word, and His unchanging moral laws. Once they’ve succeeded in overthrowing sexual morality, then what? What will they do to occupy their time? Campaign for idol-worship? Some of them are already burning incense, singing, and praying to some spurious “Queen of Heaven,” just as they did in Jeremiah’s day.

The Bible tells us that the very first thing done by the institutional Church, under Aaron as high priest, was to make a golden calf for the people to worship—while Moses was still up on the mountain, receiving the Ten Commandments. That didn’t turn out so well, did it?

It will be up to God’s people to stand fast and utterly refuse to follow these demon-addled leaders off the cliff.



 

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