Public Schools: My Answer to All Their Problems
This is my offer to President Obama to be appointed his Education Czar enabling me to solve the massive problems in the nation’s public schools. I will work without pay since I would not plan to have the job very long. The public schools have been kicked around a great deal in recent years, and I plan to kick them even more. I contend that public education gets far more respect than it deserves. If taxpayers really knew what was going on in most schools they would storm them and tar and feather the teachers and staff.
Full disclosure: I am a lifetime critic of public education. Most of my education was in Christian colleges and universities. All of my children were educated in Christian schools through the university level. Same with most of my grandchildren. I would not be saddened if public education fell to the ground like a piece of rotten fruit leaving each town to provide secondary education for all children. I believe in separation of school and state since there is not a word in the U. S. Constitution about education! Moreover, the Federal Government should have nothing to do with education–nothing.
If I were the Education Czar, I would make major changes that would restore sanity, safety, and scholarship to schools, and then I would turn everything over to each state:
*My first actions would be to immediately remove and burn in front of every school all Common Core Curriculum. I would add to the flames such “classics” from each school’s library as Johnny Has Two Daddies, Heather Has Two Mommies, Run, Alice Run, and similar garbage. And I would laugh when fools remind me that Hitler and other tyrants burned books. Hitler also constructed great highways and build good automobiles. Christians in Acts 19 burned a vast amount of damaging books with great success following the bonfire.
*All principals and administrators would be required to have at least five year’s classroom experience. I would cut the number of administrators by 35%. They really aren’t that necessary to a quality school. I would not be concerned about their college training but their knowledge, experience, and common sense.
*Each student would be tested to ascertain his grade level in math, English, history, and reading then an educational prescription would be written followed by a personalized curriculum designed for his specific needs. It is educational folly to assume that all ten-year-olds are working at the same level in all subjects! To place all students in the same grade determined by their age is an administrative convenience. It is one of the biggest mistakes made in all schools–public, private, and Christian. If funding is available then a few “frill” courses would be added.
*I would seek to repeal all compulsory attendance laws. If a kid wants to be a bum, let him be a bum with parents’ approval. After all, the attendance laws are seldom enforced anyway.
*All security guards would be fired and each school would boast of having at least two armed teachers. It would be commonly known that at least two anonymous teachers with proper gun training would be in each school. Those teachers would be paid an extra $1000 per year. Students would be told that the armed teachers would be expected to shoot any student who seeks his “fifteen minutes of fame” by killing others.
*I would hire teachers regardless of their degree. In fact, I would prefer teachers not educated in teachers’ colleges–hotbeds of incompetence. It is an acknowledged fact that the Ed.D (one of my two doctorates) is the easiest to earn and most useless doctoral degree.
*I would hire teachers who have character and would fire any teacher who boozed, used illegal drugs, or slept around. Those teachers would stay fired. I would recommend that any teacher having sex with a student would spend 25 years in prison.
*There would be no smoking of anything on school grounds by anyone at any time.
*All teachers and staff would dress up, not down. All men would wear dress shirts and ties and women would wear dresses or skirts and blouses. It is a fact that classroom discipline is linked to student and teacher dress.
*Teachers would receive merit pay depending on the progress of their students. I would also pay teachers an extra $1000 if they agreed not to join the NEA!
*Schools would befor education, not to make kids feel better about themselves. Those elementary students who disobey would be paddled on the rear, a place provided by a designing God for that purpose. Any disobedient, disruptive, or disorderly high school student would be led to the front door and told to never return.
*Each student would be expected to read by the end of the first grade. If not, he would not be passed to the second grade. Any normal child can be taught to read if the teacher knows how to teach. It is commonly known that children in Christian kindergartens learn to read before the end of the school year.
*All students would be assigned a seat and no one would be permitted to move around the room or to speak without permission. The teacher would rule the room like a tin-horn dictator of a Banana Republic!
*All students would be taught the Ten Commandments each year and when caught in a lie would be required to write on the board 100 times, “Thou shalt not lie.” When caught stealing, they would write, “Thou shalt not steal.” Any state could choose to have Bible reading and prayer in their schools.
*Any student who brings weapons to school, is involved in violence, uses booze or illegal drugs would be expelled permanently. “Shooting” other students on the playground with toy guns, fingers, or sticks would be permitted even if it caused whinny, leftist teachers to hyperventilate and females to experience premature hot flashes.
*Any student, teacher, administrator, or school board member suggesting that sex education, death education, etc., be added to the curriculum would be tarred and feathered!
My last act in office would be to close down the Department of Education putting thousands of federal workers back into productive work and off the backs of taxpayers.
Then I might consider becoming Obama’s Energy Czar! Obama, has my number. And I assure everyone that I have had his number since before his election! I called him an “empty suit” and a novice before he was elected and crowned and my opinion has only been enhanced during his disastrous tenure.
However, I look forward to the invitation to become his Education Czar.
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