Big ‘Gay’ Brother is Watching You


Doublethink means the power of holding two contradictory beliefs in one’s mind simultaneously, and accepting both of them. ~ George Orwell, 1984

In Orwell’s classic dystopian novel, the fascist government of Oceania and its enigmatic dictator Big Brother attempt to brainwash the masses to accept non sequiturs like “war is peace” and “ignorance is strength.”  But in the real world such paradoxical memes inevitably lead to mindlessness – or madness – or are forced to eventually give way to the constraints of cognitive dissonance: the psychological stress that results from holding conflicting ideas or values simultaneously.  Hundreds of peer-reviewed studies have shown that people are profoundly motivated, consciously or subconsciously, to achieve consonance – to reduce this conflict or dissonance – by eliminating or at least suppressing one of the conflicting ideas.

For individuals who find themselves experiencing erotic, same-sex desires for the first time – and let’s acknowledge that for most these feelings are involuntary – cognitive dissonance in the form of guilt or shame is very common. A good example of this was described by Robert Bauman, a conservative, pro-family Republican who served as a Congressman from 1973 until he lost re-election in 1980 following a scandal involving a sixteen-year-old male prostitute.  In his 1986 autobiography, Baumann recalls the homosexual feelings that later began to emerge when, at the tender age of five, he was molested by a twelve-year-old neighbor, thus joining the hundreds of thousands of other victims of sexual abuse who would come to experience same-sex attractions.

“This was not a matter of chance attraction to a forbidden object.  This was a frightening force from deep within my being, an involuntary reaction to the sight, smell and feel of other boys.  I neither understood nor accepted it.  And I came to hate myself because of the presence within me of this horrible weakness, this uncleanness of spirit over which I seemed to have no control.” Robert Bauman, The Gentlemen from Maryland: The Conscience of a Gay Conservative (New York: Morrow, 1986), p. 163

Homophiles (people who like (from Greek philos, love or like) or support the normalization of homosexuality) love to blame the negative feelings Baumann experienced on the projections and expectations of a “homophobic” culture.  But studies show that even in the most “gay friendly” societies – like Holland and Denmark – the higher levels of psychological problems found among homosexuals are essentially the same as for those in less “enlightened” societies. The reason for this is that the dissonance, the guilt, is rooted in the individual’s conscience and not the culture.  Because humans are created in the image of God and the binary, male-female unity is a vital aspect of that image (Gen. 1:27), each of us possesses a deep-down, “written on our heart” knowledge (Rom. 2:14-15) that homosexuality is abnormal and wrong. As a result, when a person first experiences homosexual desires, cognitive dissonance like Baumann described is the inevitable result.

The same-sex attracted person can reduce this dissonance by affirming their conscience and rejecting their homosexual feelings as wrong, refuse to act upon them – in other words embrace abstinence – and then seek help in dealing with the root causes of these inclinations in the hope of joining the many others who have transitioned into heterosexuality.

The other option is to embrace the homosexual identity and then set-out to muffle or, preferably, silence the conscience by convincing oneself that being “gay” really is okay.

The most common first step here is to enter the same-sex-attracted-feedback loop that is the “gay community.”  This can be a LGBT club at school, a gay-pride march, an activist group, immersing oneself in gay-affirming pop culture (music, television and movies) or simply hanging out or hooking up with other same-sex attracted people.

And yet even with all this, the conscience can still nudge; dissonance can still rear its ugly head.  And so the next step in eradicating any residual conflict comes through what psychologists call confirmation bias, the rejection of any and all evidence or testimony that dis-confirms, that negates, disapproves, questions or even simply ignores the validity of one’s position.  And so every reminder – any suggestion from any source – that homosexuality isn’t every bit as natural, good, moral and conducive to individual and cultural flourishing as heterosexuality has to be eliminated.

A perfect example of confirmation bias can be seen in the work of homosexual activist Wayne Besen, founder of Truth Wins Out, a not-for-profit created to counter Focus on the Family’s now defunct Love Won Out ministry to people coming out of the homosexual lifestyle. Besen has been extremely vocal in insisting there’s virtually no such an animal as an “ex-gay” and making that assertion the virtual focus of his calling.

Now here’s an incredible thing: Oprah can do shows about women who lived as heterosexuals for decades and then one day embraced their inner sexual fluidity and then jumped on the broad gay-way. But according to Besen and many other homophiles, the same thing can’t possibly happen in reverse. The thousands of people that have self-identified as homosexuals and lived the lifestyle – sometimes for years and even decades – and that are now happily married to an opposite-sex spouse or are celibate and waiting on one: a.) Were never really gay in the first place, or b.) Are living in denial, suppressing their true nature and desires, often out of what Besen describes as misplaced religious guilt.

Are you kidding me? Imagine an inebriation activist who insists that there’s no such thing as an ex-drunk because he and some other buddies couldn’t stay on the wagon or never really wanted to get on it.  According to them, every alcoholic who is now sober was either never really a drunk or is now just living a lie.

This is all just confirmation bias on steroids.

And make no mistake about it, denying that there’s such a thing as an ex-homosexual is just the beginning. There are many in the homosexual community as well as the homophiles that support them who have been emboldened by the growing acceptance of gay marriage and other trends in the culture. The gloves are coming off as they are driven to eradicate every vestige of dissonance, any trace of mores, behavior, thought, tradition and public policy that in any way suggests or reminds people that heterosexuality is normal, God-ordained and morally or ontologically superior to homosexuality.

And that is precisely why the slippery slope exists…and gets steeper and steeper as we descend.

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  • Jerry Harvey

    well written, I’m sure you’ll get mucho attacks.

  • Rockon

    Here comes the “gay” peanut gallery, who will prove homosexuality to be so not frail by bombarding this comment section with non-sequiturs, ad hominem attacks, fossil canards, and name-calling.

    • Oscar

      Shields up, Christians.

    • Matthew T. Mason

      And the sad part about it is WHY: They KNOW they aren’t going to convince anyone. They do it for themselves, to make them feel better because they realize deep down what they are doing is wrong.

  • Martin Rizley

    This is truly an excellent article that analyzes what is really going on in the mind of LGBT activists. What drives their activism is the compulsive need to silence every voice that awakens the conscience which they try to keep anesthetized. Deep down, they know that their lifestyle is radically wrong, so they must demonize all who challenge its legitimacy and who refuse to go along with their agenda of seeking to ‘normalize’ sexual perversion in the culture. How I wish that all Christians would speak out on this issue and continually remind our culture that sex was created by God, who has clearly revealed both in nature and in the Bible that there is only one legitimate outlet for human sexual expression, and that is within the context of lifelong, monogamous, heterosexual marriage. All deviations from that standard are sinful and wrong. Can you imagine the impact on our culture if every Christian were outspoken on this issue and refused to roll over and play dead before the dictatorial drive of our government to push the LGBT agenda on our nation?

    • Oscar

      From your keyboard to God’s ears and American’s hearts.

    • WXRGina

      Excellent, spot-on comments, Martin!

  • Rockon

    Homosexual ACTIVISTS are this days slave owners. They don’t want anybody with same sex attraction to leave the plantation they like to deceptively call “gay.” And speaking of being double-minded, there are 2 kinds of homosexual ACTIVISTS: (1) Those who hate religion, and (2) those who claim to be the best Christians: There are the homosexual advocates who argue that the Bible is “BS and full of contradictions,” and the homosexual advocates that call themselves “gay Christians” and argue that the Bible “affirms homosexual conduct” never seem to have a problem with each other when it comes to putting out these two blatantly obvious contradictory messages. (i.e. Matthew “the Bible affirms my homosexual inclinations and behavior” Vines and Dan “the Bible is BS” Savage have endorsed each other’s activism, even though they both represent those two contradictory messages). People don’t stop and think about this stuff, and homosexual activists take advantage of that. The self-defeating and contradictory ideologies that the homosexual activist movement embraces and puts forth makes them look more fraudulent and disingenuous.

  • Tim Warner

    I actually agree with this article although I consider myself “constitutionally homosexual.” I have lived a celibate life since 1992. I also went through four years of residential Christian ex-gay ministry. I deeply comprehend the issue of both cognitive dissonance AND the gay affirming/ pro-gay s stance. My current position is simply to accept that I am broken, fallen, sinful, as well as forgiven. I suffer temptations to act out my sexuality, but I contain them or manage them. Those I know who are pro-gay Christians are quick to point out my hypocrisy because I am a conservative, fundamental Christian who does use masturbation/porn while simultaneously rejecting the entire pro-gay agenda. I’m not sure my activities are noble, but it’s part of my process at this point. However, I do think that compete monastic-type abstinence is another option, and I subscribed to that as well for years. I love the perspective of this article/blog.

    • Rockon

      Tim, thanks for your honesty. Depending on the person, the process can differ, but good on you for your humility. Pray more and get more into his word so you can lay more spiritual roots down for Christ. Also, you may want to consider a Christian counselor to tackle childhood occurrences and dynamics in upbringing. What emotional needs went unmet, were disrupted, and what or how it may have become serialized. I’m not somebody who has had to deal with same sex attraction, but definitely a person who looked for love in the wrong places too. My prayers and goodwill is with you, brother in Christ. GOD bless…and thank you again for your humility.

      • Tim Warner

        Thanks Oscar and Rockon I shared the above article on my FB timeline. I know many people wo were formerly in the ex-gay movement who are now “gay affirming” and active. It will be interesting to see their responses to this blog. Pray for me.

    • Oscar

      No Tim, your private actions are not noble, much less God’s best for you. The two constitute both stimulating, then satisfying those very same urges, and therefore make no sense. I understand your “process”, and because it is the lesser of two evils, could not condemn you for doing what you believe needed to prevent yourself from acting out on your SSA.
      With that said, I consider you a brother in Christ, and have TREMENDOUS RESPECT for your success thus far. I would dare to say that I give you FAR more credit than I do my heterosexual single friends who are NOT celibate.
      God bless you, my friend, for accepting and dealing with these temptations. May your story be an example to those who struggle with this same sin. That your are forgiven and heaven bound. That you don’t have to define yourself by your attractions, much less surrender to them.

    • Poppo

      Tim. We are all sinners, saved by grace. There are none among us who have ever become sinless. I pray that God will grant you the grace to avoid submitting to your temptations. I certainly am just a work in progress.

    • mamaditto

      @timwarner: Thank you for your candid thoughts. I participate in a yahoo discussion group for ex-gays. I contributed the following homily which I hope you will find helpful:
      “The Christian is involved in the human situation. Within he must battle his own evil human nature; without he must live in a world of death and decay. Nonetheless, the Christian does not live only in the world; he also lives in Christ. He does not see only the world; he looks beyond it to God. He does not see only the consequences of man’s sin; he sees the power of God’s mercy and love. Therefore, the keynote of the Christian life is always hope and never despair.” (1)

      This homily on besetting sins is offered for comfort, hope and
      perspective during those difficult times of despair.
      Besetting sins are the annoying character flaws which remain a consistent source of irritation in the life of the believer. These are different from sins which are incompatible with a profession of faith. The sins listed in 1 Cor 5:9-13 ; 6:9,10 ; Gal 5:19-21 and Eph 5:5 are those which need to be dealt with decisively.
      Besetting sins, however, may never be vanquished completely. There are no instant cures or else we would not continue to struggle with them. This is why the Lord Jesus Christ told His disciples in Lk 9:23 ,”If
      anyone would come after me, he must deny himself and take up his cross daily and follow me.” In Ro 7 and 2 Cor 12 the Apostle Paul gave some indication as to his own inner struggles. In response to prayer, the Lord Jesus referred Paul to His grace. (2 Cor 12:9)
      The Christian life is not easy. No one can with 100 % accuracy achieve God’s righteous standards of holiness – except for the spotless Son of God.
      As Jas 3:2 tells us, “We all stumble in many ways…”
      Mosaic Law punished people for their actions, not their thoughts. Jesus
      brought us to the next level by pointing out that God is concerned with our thought life, as thoughts precede actions. (cf. Mt 5:28) This is why He used the hyperbole of cutting off hands and plucking out eyes (Mt 5:29,30) — to teach us to deal with destructive thought patterns before they get out of control.
      So, whenever we stumble with bouts of anger, bitterness, impatience,
      lust, self-pity, worry, etc – these moments should be taken as symptoms of a setback and the need for time out to readjust.
      Even though besetting sins make us feel depressed and unworthy, they actually have a role in spiritual maturation.
      Besetting sins keep us humble. It’s hard to be arrogant when
      besetting sins are always there to haunt us.
      Besetting sins keep us patient. They remind us of our need to spend time in prayer, Bible study and fellowship with others who can pray for and encourage us.
      Besetting sins put us in touch with our own weaknesses.
      We learn that certain people and/or situations simply must be avoided to reduce episodes of temptation in our lives.
      King David wrote Ps 51 after committing adultery with Bathsheba and arranging to have her husband, Uriah, killed in battle. It serves as the model prayer for contrition as wrongdoing is acknowledged (vs.3) and a plea for “attitude adjustment” by God is made (vs.10).
      Near the end of his life, King David took an oath to the LORD “…who has delivered me out of every trouble.” (1 Ki 1:29). The adulterer and murderer had grown into a man of integrity.

      ( 1) Barclay, Wm., “The Letter to the Romans,” Westminster Press, Philadelphia, 1975, p.111.

      Recommended reading: Rev.Dr. Robert Morey, “Satan’s Devices: Breaking Free from the Schemes of the Enemy”
      (theological treatise on the strategies used by the devil to discourage faith.)

  • Oscar

    Outstanding expose of the lies of the radical gay movement, Holmberg.
    Their attempts to deny the normal, moral, natural, healthy, positive sexual and romantic attraction to the “other”. Anyone who has taken the time to really get to know homosexual men will know that the majority are wracked with the guilt, self-loathing and cognitive dissonance mentioned in this article. That is likely the cause of the extremist homosexuals demands that we approve of their acts.

  • barbaro70

    Eric, Matt, and whoever reads this: This is a very good article as far as it goes–and it did get close to the point I want to make, that any article on the subject of the homosexual problem must really be forceful in discussing the basic problem that homosexuals and homosexuality are sterile; that, as a result, in an effort to appear normal, to themselves, to their partners, if not to society, homosexuals, at least the male homosexuals, attempt to imitate the intimacy of normal people, and instead produce and spread disease and die early to top it off. Eric, you got close to the follow on, that natural law tells us that God, or evolution if anyone prefers, designed the genitals to be used in a complementary way, in a mutual way, and any perversion of that design can only end in sadness and tragedy.

    • humankind101

      How can you possibly know that? Obviously you can’t. It’s a lie you are telling yourself to justify your opinion, which makes it completely invalid. I had a married, Christain relationship that ended in “sadness and tragedy”. I know many same-sex attracted people who seem to have much more loving and fulfilling relationships than Christian heterosexual couples. So there’s a counter-argument based on eye witness evidence. At least have a base to your theories. Come up with something better and I will be glad to consider it but don’t bother responding if you try to defend your primitive notion.

      Is sex just for procreation? I really don’t think the bible suggests that is all it’s for. If so we should only do it one way at a certain time of month only when we hope to conceive? That’s a depressing thought! If you don’t believe that then homosexual sex can fit into the same category as any other heterosexual sex in regard to what we hope to experience from it.
      Also why do you try and classify what “normal” is? It has a judgmental tone that is very unhelpful. It sounds uncompassionate and un-Christian. Is your plan that if you contribute to peoples shame that they will turn to God? I see that tactic a lot and am yet to see it bring about anything but resistance to God and Christians. Please don’t put people off from wanting to seek God. There’s a reason the bible suggests that we don’t point out the sins of the unbeliever (1 Corinthians 5:12) because they don’t understand God’s grace. I’m pretty sure there’s a better plan for us that the bible puts forth about loving people.

      • barbaro70

        The fundamental characteristic of homosexuality and homosexuals is their STERILITY, their inability to produce anything. They imitate normal people and instead of life, they produce and spread homosexual diseases and die early.

        Anyone with eyes and common sense, which is, knows that the genitals were designed by evolution, or God if you prefer, to be used in a mutually satisfying way, in a complementary way, but the brutality of what homosexuals do to each other, well documented, is not mutual, not complementary.

        Those ideas are what invalidate homosexuality, homosexual practices, and homosexuals.

        In none of our posts you will find the word “sin.”

        We´re glad you asked!

        • humankind101

          I’m finding it difficult to understand where you’re coming from. It’s certainly not a biblical/Christian point of view. Your arguments don’t make sense. Sterility is not such a bad thing in an overpopulated world. It also doesn’t count as evidence for anything cause anyone can be sterile. You’re obviously for same-sex marriage as promoting monogomy would reduce the spread of disease. I have it on good evidence that anal sex is often mutually satisfying and there are many other ways you can satisfy one another or you can take turns or be selfless! You’re implying it’s always brutal which is something you can’t possibly know and brutality obviously exists in heterosexual situations too. You keep claiming things you have no base for. It defies logic and rationality so I’m guessing something else is driving you. It seems quite evil especially when you claim homosexuals are invalid. You’re talking about the person. It’s like saying jews are invalid. You get where I’m going?You’re inciting hatred and potentially violence. I don’t understand what it’s like to be filled with such hatred but hope it can be dealt with. Homosexuals used to make me feel uncomfortable until I got to know some and that’s all it took for me to get over it. My best friend is gay and I don’t know where I’d be without him. Try and treat them as human beings and see where it gets you. Respecting others brings so much love back. Love breeds love. Hate breeds hate. Try respecting people for your sake as much as anyone else’s.

          • barbaro70

            — .para —

            hey, human: you are trying entirely too, too hard

            homosexuality and homosexuals are STERILE

            they produce nothing

            as a result of their STERILTY they try to imitate normal people in their intimacy, in an effort to appear normal to themselves, to their buddies´ rear ends and penises, and to normal people, and instead of producing positive things, such as life, they produce and spread only negative things, such as disease, depression, shame, early death

            if anal penetration, not sex because that only applies to what normal people do, is mutually satisfying to homosexuals then they are masochists, but there can be no doubt that it rips up digestive tracts, colons, rectums, anuses, and is part of the disease production and spreading that homosexuals are famous for

            as to whether or not we are inciting hatred: OF COURSE WE ARE



            glad you asked

            ///. rev ///

            if you are opposed to the brutality in the relationships between normal couples, YOU work on that, while we continue to work on the homosexual problem

            it is insane that 1% of the population, screwed up as they are about one of the fundamental aspects of life, is trying to tell 99% of the population what society´s institutions should be like–we are not going to have that

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  • Sandy Lee

    Heterosexuality is superior to homosexuality. Without superior sexual practice, all would cease to exist. The big picture dictates that equality of the two is unattainable. Therefore, in actuality, the drive to equate the two will have no end. The masses will slowly tire of the endless assaults and that’s clearly beginning to happen. Humor for abnormal behavior can only last so long.

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  • Rockon

    Wayne Besen’s “organization” should really be called “Troublemaker Wiggin Out.” Ever read his articles? The man channels his inner saul alinsky and engages in so much ad hominem, name-calling, hyperbole, you have to wonder if he really believes what he is saying/writing.

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